She came running across the room like a sloth on ice,a horrifying unexpected speed. Tumbling down like how stairs shouldn't. With fermented idiocy rusted on her breath, she'd been gone for way to long. Hair like the funky fuzz ball you just ripped off a brush, only to realize that toothpaste was oozing on your clean hands and gray hair clinging to you relentlessly. She was not pretty! With paint brushes in her hands and dangling from her matted hair, she looked like a rainbow-spotted zombie. "WHAT!" She bellowed as her corrosive voice, made every edge sharper, and the air poisonously crisp." WHAT! The HELL do YOU want from me!"Every word pronounced sharp by her rage of being disturbed. Her extreme eyes focusing calculating ways to clear her haze. Flowers stuffed in her face was like stuffing a skunk's butt with a gallon of cheap perfume. Its not easy, and its extremely dangerous.
Shock! A step back, she fell so far back, like an accidental suicide, plummeting she didn't expect cool waters, to be so damn unromantic and like concrete. Theres just nothing great about death by concrete incision, and i don't suggest it.
No she had no idea what was coming to her.
That I was coming, to see, to see just her and her alone.
to be continued
11:02
the door resounded brutal waves, she came crashing, first up then down, gravity's chew toy soggy from all the falls and crusty from all the insanity. A thousand year old tree falling like a rubber ball. She had fallen asleep, but more like jenga the last piece pulled it could take no more stress.Finally toppling at 10 am sleep burned through her eyes and sagged through her body. but in her eyes she expanded and exhilarated like the birth of new emotions or that perspective of the sensitively intense, and the oh so distant. Ah memories, memories of so long ago even the files were corroded and weathered. These dreams of him. The lives of paint and shapes there expression that her paintbrush danced to and what her smile still breathed for. Hah, what she still breathed for, no what she was forced her to breath for, forced by her creativity, as her dreams of life remained on a forgotten to do list to glue it back together and take out the trash. But building petal on top of petals will not create a flower as her hands, her brush shattered wet all last night. She had starved her emotions to the point of anorexia. internally she was dying as her blood barely pumped through her heart as even the blood thought her heart was to cold to live in. She needed a hug. A real hot compassionate one.
11:05
Then he came... knocking again.
reminding her of her forgotten heart beat, now her ears ached from it.
It was damn 11 am what kind of idiot knocks on the door so damn early.
Stranded in the desert, confusing it with dessert from dripping mirages, only to realize it was the end of this pathetic square world and i had just plummeted down into an alien planet. 'Where the F$#K...'could only explain this retched emotion. I fell.
Author notes
HMM i dont no if i like the addition or not... its not as funny and a little more serious as i am in that kinda zone, whereas before i was feeling silly and hyper
hmm comments please suggestions Please or criticism but please understand respectfully that this is very fresh and still in the infant stage so be gentle
i tried to keep the same style tho the style is the extreme of my usual style.
and
unlike the first half
with the new addition, half of it is just flowed and half it is thought out
whereas the first half is all flow
Soulful Bubbles
A contest entry
- Pre-Writes That Deserve A trophy by piccola.
600 points, ended August 9, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Personal Best: contemporary poems. by Brit-Girl.
700 points, ended August 12, 2008, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Short Stories - Please read rules! by enitsirhC.
900 points, ended September 14, 2008, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Life by Kal-El.
650 points, ended August 26, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please? and thank you...
Comments
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Tumbling down like how stairs shouldn't. With fermented idiocy rusted on her breath,
I love the imagery! -
Wow this is really good. I like the originality and non-cliche story line. I think it will turn into a great story. Thank you for entering my contest and don't forget to add your second part by the 23rd.
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mm, this is an interesting piece of prose,
yeah not really what i was looking for with contemporary poetry but a fine write nonetheless,
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hope you have this listed under "weird" lol. It was filled with great imagery and actually reminds me of someone I know.
thank you for the entry.




