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Duet: Sun and Night

 

Sun:
La la la la
I see the wheels of chariots
pulling me into the earths
awakening eyes
turn away night
dreams must to their bed retire

Night:
Lu lu lu lu
the stars at one time hid their face
mirrored in the cratered moon
draping the midnight
indigo velvet
yet still the sun seeks to rise

Sun:
I creased the moon in rivlets
my golden raiment flitted
down upon the purple eyes
of dreamers who dare to
wear the color of violet royalty.
I salute you, secret night.
I envy your hidden magic.


Night:
And yet I am the one bespelled
the sparkles found in golden rays
so far from my own shimmers
the silver from my fingers.
You who tempt the world to growth
the life you give, the lore I gain
though even you hide secrets.




Author notes

Duet written with michael thomas. He is the sun. I am the night.

I think the sun and the night are two pivotal parts of the universe, the light and the dark.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Justinintendo
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a good write, I love the absolute symbolism in this poem. This is really deep, I love this work, great write...look forward to seeing you in my next contest. Good luck in the contest!

    Enjoyed the read,
    Justin


  • Sprite silver member
    August 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I appreciate the effort put into this. Planning is obviously most important. Your words are beautiful and poetic, but unfortunately, the flow is quite uneven or absent. The tone is well maintained throughout though and that isn't easy to do with two of you writing together.

    I do like the conversation between day and night and think it very clever. I think that if you work on meter, the two of you will write a terrific poem. Thanks again for your entry. ~ Joyce


  • Sprite silver member
    August 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for your entry. I have read this once. I will return and comment later this evening. I like two reads befor4e I comment. ~ Joyce

  • Sick Sunshine
    August 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the idea of writing something with another person...very unique. I could hardly tell it was two different writings till I read the authors note. Who-RAH to you.