we are
swimming in crushed clouds,
convalescent curiosity;
the sharks silently slashing our skin
leave no mark but
paint-slicked red hearts drift away in the sky,
too far away
to touch.
i can see
your charred lungs expanding,
rainbow air swirling and
darkening as you exhale,
rings and rings of black
escaping from your lips,
shrouding me
in a tightly-wrapped cocoon,
spiderweb sweet.
they disappear
as soon as my fingers
reach them,
light traces of sweat-stained silk --
just like you do,
your icy hands twin whispers,
breezeways between my thighs.
growing invisible
as i try to grasp you,
hold you steady
beneath the pulsing waves
away from the wavering planes
gliding uncertainly above our heads,
their sterile silver wings
too heavy to stay
afloat.
i blink
and i am
alone;
the wind rushes
through my ears,
brain freeze falling,
failing.
the stars are dim
underneath.
Author notes
chalk artwork
melting popsicles
sky-diving
strobe lights and disco balls
diving into dark lakes
A contest entry
- Abstract Topics, Inspire Me by Salt Therapy.
300 points, ended August 12, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Whatever you want to say. Critiques, anything. :)
Comments
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Wow! You really have a way with words. I enjoyed this piece greatly. I thought it fell off a little at the end, but the dream-like feeling and the pacing were perfect. I do like that last line a lot, just the stanza before it just didn't fit as well as the rest.
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Humm..the amazing immagery is revealing the story of life through the spoken words which are wonderfully knitted as well..well done...
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ooooh i love this. nice ideas, great imagery, and amazing alliterations.
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