Floating above myself
I see white-coated arms
working feverishly to save
the life that I disdained.
I couldn’t swallow bullets,
too messy
for my family,
so I swallowed pills—
I forget how many.
Someone is prying my fingers open;
“Vicodin” she calls to the others.
A handsome resident pulls my eyelids
shining a light into
my unresponsive pupils.
I am just a flat line
on the emergency room monitor.
“Clear” they call and place the paddles.
The shock reverberates; curiously,
I watch my body jerk and contort
my red nightie flapping wildly,
but I feel nothing.
Then a crooning in my right ear
chanting “not your time yet…
Not your time yet”
I zoom down,
my spirit sucked back into
that curious physical body,
I feel submerged
like the time I was five
and jumped from the rope swing
into the river
feet sinking into silky bottom,
where I could almost
imagine residing forever
but for the need to breathe—
Bubbles all around me,
arms arcing up and out
I rise
through darkness to light,
coolness to warmth until
I break the surface and
hear someone saying
“Thank God she’s back!”
Author notes
#8: Treasure Chest of Inspirations: I am just a flat line
#5: So write a poem in celebration of/dedication to my life, my poetry, my decision to live... whatever.
A contest entry
- FIVE YEAR AP ANNIVERSARY BASH!!!! by Auburn Sunrise.
5000 points, ended August 15, 2008, 39 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
All comments are appreciated!
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
Excellent
Such a great write for the prompt. So very well written. Congrats on the silver.
-
Congratulations
Well written. Iinteresting write to the end.
Buddy
-
It's very powerful subject matter, and very well written. I think that it will touch a lot of people. Excellent word choice, and some good images in there.
"feet sinking into silky bottom,
where I could almost
imagine residing forever
but for the need to breathe—"
I'm probably not the best critic of this piece though, because I'm not really a huge fan of narrative poetry. As a result, I don't know what the heck I'm talking about when it comes to narrative free verse.
Thank you for inviting me to read it though, It's good to stretch my boundaries.
-
Wow. I am stunned... again.
You are just too good to be true. This was exquisite!!! It doesn't get any better than this.
You start out with a bleak and raw outlook, then describe things so beautifully and vividly I felt I was there floating above your body with you, and then at the end - the analogy of coming back to life being linked with coming back up from the rushing waters of the river... it's so perfect.
I love how you incorporated that line into the poem so smoothly, too.
You are very talented and very... genuine.
Thanks for this. I needed it.
-
THIS ROCKED!!! i love it. the out of body. back in the body. all around emotion grabbing piece. especially to me. them pills got me once. NEVER AGAIN!!!... but GREAT PIECE!!! thanks for sharing...
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
