Lucy fell one morning from a nectarine sky
into a sparkling, black ocean of despair and horror.
She swam around and even nearly drowned,
but then came two fish to save her from that water.
A few hours had passed until they reached dry land,
and the fish, one black one white, sang like a choir.
Out of joy and pain, goodbye they waved,
as the trip made them ever so tired.
Lucy awoke to such a mysterious world,
a place that seemed to have everything but an end.
Every piece of sand seemed to sparkle in her hand,
because every grain itself was a diamond.
She looked around to see another self,
standing on the hill offshore,
who laughed like a child, just ever so mild,
which was something Lucy had never done before.
She had spent all of her life never seeking that much fun,
as she was never given another choice but to win.
She spent most of her time crying, and wishing she were dying,
because to seek pleasure would've seemed a great sin.
She lifted her head and quickly decided,
that she must find this laughing visage.
She ran fast without care, yet found nothing but air,
her hopeful self had been naught but a mirage.
If only her new friends could save her now,
but she could see they had already gone.
Back into the ocean of despair, out there,
where the black sparkles like crystal carbon.
She then came to the truth that it could only be herself
who could take her back to her sky.
Where second chances are as sharp as new lances,
but can erase the tears you cry.
They make you understand that the past has passed,
which was something Lucy was not ready to believe.
But she took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and then left,
flying into a sky that saw her heart, and could only grieve.
The rain poured down and only a lonely, beam of light
could separate the sky's black from the sea.
And as Lucy arose she could only suppose,
'This color seems so much like me'.
Lucy disappeared and the sky's color returned
back to its beautiful nectarine.
Then one black and one white fin came out from the ocean,
and waved goodbye from their disparaging scene.
They knew deep at the bottom of their charitable fish hearts
that Lucy would keep chasing her mirage, spirit, dream.
That she would soon forget the tears that she wept,
and every night she had awoken to the sound of her own screams.
So they slowly swam away...
...Just as Lucy did one day...
...when she found an ocean of despair and denial...
...that took her away to her heart's inner child.
Author notes
I could spend a long time letting you know about all the symbolism I've put in this poem, but I at least wanted to clarify two symbolic parts, just in case. The two fish represent yin and yang for an explanation of that see here http://fly.cc.fer.hr/~shlede/ying/yang.html And the last stanza is a different rhyme scheme from the others intently. It is different because Lucy is different, after she decides to not let tradgedies in her time, and crazed ambition keep her from true happiness. Which a lot of people, including myself, tend to let themselves do. The rest of the symbolism is for you guys to figure out or interpret on your own 
Love, Good Karma, and Zen Always,
~*~Silent Insanity
P.S: Poem was inspired by Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds by The Beatles, for help with interpretation try listening to the song at the same time as reading the poem. Here's a link to the Elton John cover in case you can't find the Beatles version
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ah1JZb_t8zs
A contest entry
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525 points, ended September 2, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your favorite Prewrite by SignifyingNothing.
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Honorable mention
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Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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WOW, like this piece alot!
Thnx for entering & Best of Luck
: F
GloriousGift
Heba -
Very flowing write here. I enjoyed it.
Yes, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds a well known tune referring to an LSD trip
Thanks for sharing
-
I am very familiar with the song ~ Elton John is one of my favorite muscians. I also enjoyed this poem ~ even as long as it is, it keeps the attention of the reader wanting to know what happens. I also enjoyed the rhyme you used throughout the piece.
I truly believe I could go on and on... and I haven't even began to dive into the metaphoric aspects of this piece which makes it even more amazing.
~***Nice job ~ I enjoyed the tale you've spun. Thanks so much for entering it into the contest ~ it was a welcome pleasure for me to read and review ~
Best of luck to you,
Florida Sunshine
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Yes, I guessed that it was Lucy in the Sky with diamonds. I can tell you put a lot of effort into this, it was very ambitious, and for the most part it succeeds. My favorite verse:
The rain poured down and only a lonely, beam of light
could separate the sky's black from the sea.
And as Lucy arose she could only suppose,
'This color seems so much like me'.
I just love it. A little awkward rhyme at times, but I don't think it detracts from the overall poem too much. I really like this a lot. Thanks for entering and sharing it with me! -
oh wow that is awesome about the first two lines
Lucy fell one morning from a nectarine sky
into a sparkling, black ocean of despair and horror.
Now see this is just awesoem to me it shows such despair that it grips your soul! I loved you words.
the next two are odd but I like them it makes me think of an old style fairy tale! this is way cool.
the next verse:A few hours had passed until they reached dry land,
and the fish, one black one white, sang like a choir.
Out of joy and pain, goodbye they waved,
as the trip made them ever so tired.
Makes me think of the Odessy I loved the odessy! you are a very gifted author!
the beach in the next verse sounds so beautiful I really love it!
She had spent all of her life never seeking that much fun,
as she was never given another choice but to win.
She spent most of her time crying, and wishing she were dying,
because to seek pleasure would've seemed a great sin.
this verse is like a sindide to society, it caputere the people trapped in a dessert of a world that locks them forever in a barren waste land!
This poem on a whole is just so awesome I love and enjoyed it thank you ever so much for enterin
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wow!! i loved this!! it was really great!! and i understood the symbolism! and i LOVE symbolism in poetry/songs/anything really!! great job!! i loved this!!
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I read this a few times and was gripped by it. Absolutely pleasurable to read. Beautiful!
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