Linger in the sun
though the night seems more profound-
We are drawn to warmth.
Yellow rays that awaken,
raising a hand to sunrise.
Author notes
It's funny I wrote this, since I'm such a night person and don't really like the sun all that much, although it has, on occasion, drawn me in.
Woo hoo, just noticed this in my 400th poem on here. Now I'll go and write some more!
In a list
A contest entry
- Tanka Time by azure85.
600 points, ended August 7, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
this is beyond amazing.
I didnt know 24 words could mean so much.
I understand it.
well writt.
-
Beautiful! I particularly like the second line
"though the night seems more profound"
I'm a night owl myself...lol
A great warm feeling with the morning light, nicely done
-
I am a night person as well but description of the day us hard to resist. It was easy to feel the warmth that you mention. Congratulations as this is a wonderful 400th poem x
-
Reminds me of Homer's rosy-fingered dawn.
The sun's rays at dawn or dusk do appear as a hand sometimes. We also often raise a hand to the morning sun, not in greeting, but to shade our night vision from the light. This reads very much like a night owl's rare view of the direct sunlight of the day finding it curious and a little fascinating.
-
Congrats on your 400th poem! May there be thousand more! You have created a really good tanka, thank you so much.
-
sounds kinda kinky.. o.o
-
I like this - I think it suceeds quite nicely in form and epiphany. Tankas were originally sent as love notes between lovers after a night together so this fits that purpose beautifully. Bravo!
-
This is very cool gypsy,
I saw you stretching as you woke to a new day...
...though the night seems more profound...
Perfectly placed wording....
more feeling in the night...
but clarification in the warmth of the new morning.
Your comment on my work is so much more valued knowing what a fine writer you are...
my Irish grand ma used to say....
LOWELL!!!
Write something grand,
for you may be
entertaining Angels,
Unaware.
she was always right,
Bless you lass,
LOWELL
-
I like this poem. Let me tell you what I think? Please do not be offended. You are an elderly man in a nursing home and the blanket covering you from the cold draft in the winter window, has partially slipped past your shoulders as the sun in the east slants into your face. Your children will visit today, but for now, this morning, the sun wakes your spirits as you raise your surprisingly weak hand, and ring the nurse with your buzzer. Now tell me. How close am I? Oh! I just read where you are a young woman in Utah. Shit. Okay I'll retract my assessment of the lovely poem of the morning and say that the sun lingering upon the profound night memories draws me into your words of beauty as if the yellow shimmer of your poem was a silken filament of weave thrown into the windless flat shaft of bright glorious sun of butterflies all fallen from heaven in drifts. yea!
-
-
I'm glad you were able to see such a story in it, though I think it speak more for you imaginative abilities than my poetry. I was just trying the tanka on for size. Your comment made me smile, thanks so much.
-
-
I can see that, life is drawn to light. Even tho the night seems more sacred and secretive.
Patty
-
Humm...only nihts...?..yet there is a light of your wisdom in this verse..I love it..my thanks for sharing it ...well done..
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
