Be still the rolling tears you weep
as I am in your heart to keep,
though life’s not how it used to be
just close your eyes so you can see.
I’m here with you each day, each night
by your side, though not in sight,
your hand I clasp, I walk with you
these saddest times, I’ll see you through.
Though from bodies touch I am gone
my spirit lives, I carry on,
freed from mortal bounds of earth
to Gods eternal love, rebirth.
Listen hard then you will hear
upon the breeze I’m always near,
When times are low, you need to cry,
remember love will never die.
I watch you now, I always will
though ask one thing, your tears be still,
dry your eyes that I may see
the way you used to smile with me.
All rights reserved © 2008
In a list
- Poets With Feathers group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Goodbye daddy, hope to see you in heaven by Meroza.
4500 points, ended September 11, 2008, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 50 of 50
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How beautiful this is, I was lost to the beautiful yearning this left me with. You captured the reader from beginning to end. Well done
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Nice.
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Beautiful.
The simplicity that continuously flows from your quill is marvelous. Such an emotional piece filled with beauty and imagery. Wonderful job!
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This poem left such a strong feeling, and I wish for the words not to end. I found so much confort in them.
This poem I will keep in mind, when the reality strikes me and I need to feel comfort again, I will read your words over and over.
Thank you so much for taking the time to enter -
this is so beyond beauty,
your have done outstanding with this job.
This has been a joy to read.
justgot2loveme
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As so many have already said, this is so beautiful and well written...
As always, a perfect poem, Bro
I love this one
Lynda
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Thoughtful and meaningful content and very well rhymed, another good strong entry from you, we are both always glad to see them.
Hope to see you in the remaining rounds too
Jeff and Sue
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yuor poem is really good
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Perfectly beautiful!!!!
Nevadapoet
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Just beautiful! Very very well written!
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Bravo!!!!!!!
Absolutely marvelous write! One of the best I have seen! Truly remarkable how you captured exactly what a person(now an angel) would say! Great emotion and sentiment here! Standing ovation for an accomplished poet!!! Rhyme and rhythm was perfect! Thank you for writing such a lovely poem!
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ah, i love it! i like your rhymes, they are not fake and forced or obvious. it is a very sweet poem. let's see... my favorite parts of your poem:
"I’m here with you each day, each night
by your side, though not in sight,
your hand I clasp, I walk with you
these saddest times, I’ll see you through."
and the last couple lines. really awesome poem, i thought it was great!
-Peanut Butter Fudge loves your poem!
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this is such a beautiful and tender piece that works so well love the ending so haunting very well done with this
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excelelnt
Though from bodies touch I am gone
my spirit lives, I carry on,
freed from mortal bounds of earth
to Gods eternal love, rebirth.
Listen hard then you will hear
upon the breeze I’m always near,
When times are low, you need to cry,
remember love will never die.
above pargraphs made me emotional and impacted quite a lot.Thanks for sharing such a nice poem. i loved it.Please do visit my portfolio and offer some comments.
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That's a great piece of work smooth as silk. Happy trails.
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Third stanza down, 'Though' is not capitalized. didn't know if you meant to do that.
Other than that, it was a nice write. Very touching. I can't relate at the moment, so it makes it harder for me to critic. -
wow beautiful
amazing writing...very powerful and full of emotions. It touched my heart and made me hold my breath until the end.
My favorite part:
Listen hard then you will hear
upon the breeze I’m always near
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Awww my friend, this touched me!
Made me think of my Dad (Lord, how I miss that man!)
Very touching and hopeful piece, sweetie!
I wish you the best with this piece
Many hugs,
Sandy -
A beautiful saddness you've captured and put a spotlight on filled with comfort
"dry your eyes that I may see
the way you used to smile with me"
Beyond truest of true words, thoughts, feelings and emotions.
A reserved and powerful piece you've put into a collection of words for others to have ease in their mending hearts.
Thank you for sharing this. Keep on writing for you have lots to say, share, teach, and learn from yourself as well as others!
~Days
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Emotionally beautiful!
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wow this is deeply-moving and so beautifully written. im truely speachless. wonderfully done
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Sweet, sad and beautiful. Great rhyme, well-chosen words. Absolutely wonderful.
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Very deep....deeply moving.
My sweet lord- this is amazing. Thank you for giving me something which I may use for comfort when less than positive memories of a departed friend encroach on the smiles which have begun to come...I'm nearly misting here. -
BRAVO!
very clear,no need for dictionary i know what you mean,words easy to understand^_^
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I really enjoyed this, very well written.
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Very nice. It put me in a happy mood after I read it.
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Wow!
This hits home with a bang, even in it's tender message. Evoked tears just now. We always have them near if we'd just look around. So touching and loving and perfect, Brian. Flowed as effortlessly as tears. Love will never die--how true it that? Thank you for sharing this with us all!
Kel
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Ah...amazing sentiments you are with here my friend..just soft and tender impact you brought here..thanks for sharing it...
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Very beautiful and uplifting. This piece flowed well and swells with emotions.
Thank you for sharing!
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still
love this piece......you did a great job with the promt......
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... Wow...
^ That just captures all of my feelings in one word.
What more to express? Beautiful? Great symphony of words, rhyme and meaning?
All of that is true, but I'm to stunned to express it in the way I'd like to. And that's some hell of an achievement, since I do not fall silent very easy.
... Wow...
and a blink,
BlinkofDeath
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When words fall short of the pain of loss
This is so beautiful it encapsulates the raw bleeding pain the remains and soothes the bleeding soul.
A beautiful point of view
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this made me think of my grampa and cry it was so beautiful. it's a lovely testimony to faith and to our guardian angels. the rhythm of the words is almost flawless
this line:
though from bodies touch I am gone
i keep saying as "I'm gone" when i read for flow with the next line *shrugs*
this is a really triumphant work. PerfectImperfection has a contest going now thats perfect for this too, you should enter it there too.
just awesome!
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Absolutley BEAUTIFUL. Thank you so much for your work.
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This was so beautiful.. The emotion in it was intense and brought tears to my eyes.. and what made them fall? this heartfelt imagery.. So delicate and yet so beautifully crafted as well thank you very much for sharing.. I truly loved this..
Angel
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This is simply amazing, and so beautiful. It is a real gift to create something as wonderful as this.
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aw damn.... it's really hard for someone else's writing to make me cry, but this did it...
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This hits way to close to home for me! I lost my soul mate almost 2 years ago, and still have bad days. And today is one of those bad days... This came at the perfect time, yes, but makes me just sit here and fight the tears... as I can't fully let it all go..Long story!
Thanks for the reminder that he is still with me, and holding my hand, and that our love will forever live on! I really needed that tonight!
Best of luck in this contest!
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"by your side, though not in sight,
your hand I clasp, I walk with you
these saddest times, I’ll see you through."
great write my friend, Good luck in the contest
***thelegend***
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This gives a feeling of hope to those who lost some people they loved. It flowed amazingly and the words you chose made it all the better. And as so many have said...it's really touching. Your a wonderful writer.
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That is so beautiful. It really touched my heart.
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Ahhh my heart just ached.
"by your side, though not in sight,
your hand I clasp, I walk with you
these saddest times, I’ll see you through."
that really got me. suddenly realising what the poem's about. you kept the mood all the way from the beginning. nice one.
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THIS BRING TEARS TO MY EYES!!!
As you might know from my poetry I always listen for my husband's voice in the breeze... This poem hits home and was written with so much love and tenderness and the rhyme meter's decibel makes this a poetic song to read!!
Very very well done my friend!
Thank you for sharing this with me!
Keep well,
Becks
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This was lovely to read and really sent me off - a beautiful spiritual trip.
Hilly xxx
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This is beautiful, and this pain I know all too well. This is really heartfelt to me, because August 12th was the day my little sister died 23 years ago, and it's still like yesterday. You never forget someone that close that you love. Thanks for sharing this with us here on AP.
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well done my friend and i know the message so very true and yet I often forget them from time to time. I remember my Mom saying many times b4 she passed a saying she had cherished after watching the old tv show highway to heaven - "when I die, remember me with laughter and smiles, if you can't remember me with laughter and smiles and must remember me with tears then don't remember me at all. " she always there after said thats how she wanted to be remembered with laughter and her candid and devilish sense of humour. Thank you for the write and reminding me of the important things life has to offer us. many blessings forever always xxxx THANK YOU!!!
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I swear I got chills reading this because like 5 hours ago my neighbor across the street committed suicide and his family is absolutely DEVASTATED!!! I could hear his daughter screaming and crying inside their house and I was inside mine. It was absolutely horrible and heartbreaking!!! Would you mind if I shared this with them in a few weeks or at least within the next few months? Right now is definitely not a good time and I won't be bothering them at all to let them get things together and hopefully heal as much as they can for the funeral. I understand how difficult it is to lose someone you love, and what you have written is something that could bring somewhat of a healing or inner peace if even for a few minutes. This is brilliant, and couldn't have been posted at a better time!!!
Deveraux
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I have to say the picture is so beautiful, I just may do a painting now inspired by that actually, but back to the poem... I have to say the poem is just as beautiful as the picture (especially the stanza before the last one). Excellent write
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Lovely poem
Ireally like this poem, you speak as in the past, and the love is so alive! I being a widow, I almost felt him, very nice poem this last stanza is fantastic! I watch you now, I always will
though ask one thing, your tears be still,
dry your eyes that I may see
the way you used to smile with me.
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This is a lovely poem. So strong but yet sad. You did an excellent job in expressing yourself in this one.
And best of luck in the contest!
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