As I embrace your flawless body
The feeling of complete relaxation washes over my tainted mind
Opening my eyes to the purity of heaven
As I clasp your awaiting hand
The thought of carelessness overcomes my worried face
Opening my eyes to the power of prayer
As I caress your smooth lips
The feeling of entirety surges through my soul
Opening my eyes to one of Gods miracles
As I gaze upon you
The realization of pure perfection tingles through my veins
Opening my eyes to a heaven's angel
Author notes
Username - Sugarfree
Maverick
A contest entry
- Win me over by Beyond Broken.
315 points, ended August 23, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - i need a family! by the.art.of.drowning.
300 points, ended August 20, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - GET YOUR POEMS OUT THERE by Ken-Maverick.
450 points, ended August 17, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites [Love Poems] Enter now! by perfectsunset.
475 points, ended August 17, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - True Beauty by crazymomma.
1400 points, ended August 19, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you honestly think?
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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this was honestly one of the best poems i have read all day, something to really get into , thank you for sharing, keep it flowing
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I have to admit the first line made me wonder if you read the rules. "Flawless" is definately what this contest is about. Then I decided to look at it as love keeps us from seeing imperfections in the one we love. Thanks for entering. This is nicely written. Good luck in the contest.
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thanx
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Aww this was so deeply beautiful and touching.
Loved the imagery & lovely thoughts in this.
Thanks for entering & best of luck
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Thank you
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Wow; what a piece of Heaven you have penned here..
Loved your imagery and emotion.. so full of depth.
These lines were so beautiful and really touched me
"As I caress your smooth lips
The feeling of entirety surges through my soul
Opening my eyes to one of Gods miracles"
This was an amazing write!
Good luck in the contest -
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Thank you so much
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It's amazing how the touch of the one we love can bring us to life, change our perspectives. Nice write.
♥
whisper
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Thanx
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awww thats well sweet.
XkX -
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Thanx
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Really sweet, Richard! Well written. I like that each stanza ends with "Opening my eyes to...". Good use of repetition. Nice job
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Thank you
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no prob
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This was so sweet. I liked the words.
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Thanx
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This was a very sweet write. I loved the wording and the flow of this. Great work. Thanks for entering.
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Thank you and sure
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this was great. on the last line though, you don't need "a" and you need an apostrophe between the "n" and "s" in "heavens"
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Thank you for the advice!
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That. Is. AMAZING.
This was so sweet... any girl would love to have someone like you write for her!
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Thank you
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WOW! Honestly, I think this is amazing! Very well penned. I hope you win Gold in both contests, for this is a very wonderful poem. Very loving...deep words here. Also, very strong images!!!! Great work!
Warmest,
Mylee -
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Thanks It helps when you have someone you love to write about
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that is so beautiful. i love it so much! if you could tell me what you want to be and your username. i'll add you right away.
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My username is sugarfree and not sure what you mean by what i want to be, like what family member?
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yeah. what family member. i do give people a choice. XD.
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awww this is so sweet and beautiful
wonderful write ad good luck,
take care
Stephanie ♥
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Thank you
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wow i love the sentiments expressed in this piece...and especially the way you've expressed them! there's something very tender and emotional about it! Nice work!
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Thanks so much
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