Like a guardian Angel,
You are there when I need you most,
With untainted beauty glowing in the Sun's radiance,
Your presence overwhelms me with unbelievable joy.
Like an addicts ecstasy,
You are the one I always crave,
My tender heart selfishly desiring more,
More of your amazing charm and implausible smile,
Your intense personality and insane beauty,
Your pure perfection.
Author notes
A poem I wrote for a girl I really loved!
A contest entry
- AP Family Please by fairytalelovestory.
500 points, ended August 12, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell someone you love them... by Margaret Denham.
1900 points, ended August 23, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - -♥-~*Beautiful*~-♥- by xwarriorXprincessx.
900 points, ended August 18, 2008, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Rose For You In Appreciation. by Poetryintheblood.
425 points, ended August 18, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Need Favorites ^___^ by edit my world..
555 points, ended September 3, 2008, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you honestly think?
Comments
1 - 65 of 65
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I think the first line would work better if "Angel" wasn't capitalized. It's not a proper name and thus does not need to be capitalized. I love the first stanza however, the way the sun's radience is so bright it seems to block out all the darkness of our world, much like when that special person turns up in our lives. Also, in the second stanza The word "addicts" needs an apostrophe. It's kind of a cliche metaphor, but I think it does work here. Well done. Good write
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Thank you
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I liked your choice of vocabulary here. My favourite expression was "like an addicts ecstasy," this really unleashed many thoughts in my mind. Love is awonderful thing, and can bring about many lovely poems, just like this one.
Thanks for sharing.
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thanks
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ahh yes... feels this for my angel too. i truly love this. nothing like untainted love. it is an unbelievable joy. love your word choice. two stanzas only and says so much. ty for sharing
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Thanks so much
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Wow !!!
You describe such an intensity of love that will stand the test of time, the kind one wishes could last forever but alas it always seems to vanish like dew before the rays of the rising sun. I like it.
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Thank you
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=D
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this is beautiful and powerful - a real sense of incredibly strong emotions, especially the longing.
I also like the layout, which looks to me a bit like an angel - the first verse looking like wings, and the second verse looking like the splaying out of a dress.
lovely stuff.
P-R xxx
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wow never noticed that before good eye!
Thanx so much, i really appreciate it!
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I like the way you expressed your feelings and some of your word choices...they made me smile as I read them.
Thank you for entering and best wishes in the judging.
Love Margaret
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Glad i managed to make you smile
Thanx!
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This really was full with love and affection. I loved the way you showed it using two very different images, an angel and a drug, both of which were very strong and very effective. Your description was very beautiful. I loved the line "My tender heart selfishly desiring more", I remember that feeling where you love someone so much that you want more of them than anything. Great work x
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Thank you so much
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Thank you for your beautiful dedication, good luck in my contest, Josie
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Thanx
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awww this such a sweet poem!! she must be a very special girl good write!
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Thank you and she was indeed!
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such abeautiful piece penned here. She must have been something really special, to nspire such deep emotion from you. Keep the muses working for you my friend.
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Thank you She sure was
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Very beautifully written!
It's great to have someone in your life
that makes you feel like this. It's so
difficult to find someone that is always
there for you and when you do find them,
you never want to let them go. I hope
that this special person in your life
continues to make your heart soar everyday!
Well done and thanks a lot for sharing
this one here!
Jeremy0826 -
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Thank you
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how can someone write something this SWEET!! wow ur an amazing writer!! I LOVE iT
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Why thank you
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Great little Poem! I like it!
This short poem is quite good as is, but to be brutally frank a little more work on it would not hurt. I'm a believer in minimalism and as such would try to get rid of articles and shorten up this poem, even more. I think a shorter statement filled with comment and emotion is the best poetry. See some of Ted Keesor's work for examples.
I don't like capitalization or punctuation, either. I guess I go for a contemporary poetic nuance, you may not, however.
Your title is very good and the substance of this poem supports the title well. Your work shows real promise and I say keep it up -- remember read, read, read and re-write, re-write!
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Thank you i shall
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aw :] that was adorable ! this girl must be very special :] so much emotion throughout this piece ! i really enjoyed reading it :] great write
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Thank you
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That was just WoW
Man thats a really good poem!!!!!!!
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Thank you
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SUCH FEELING!!!!!!!
The passion and emotion in this are beautiful and touching! Another beautiful write.
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why thank you appreciate it!
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what does this resemble
i hope you are doing great this poem is an important thing to u i can tell thanks for letting me read it!
Brave warrior!
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oy.
so simple, short, and sweet, but sooooooooo awesome. this made my heart lub dub... cause pitter-pattering goes too fast to appreciate the beauty of this poem.
lovely lovely work. great job.
best wishes and best of luck in my contest! -
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Thank you so muchIm glad you liked it!
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so what do you want to be so that I can add you
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mmmm! A brother!
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ok you can be my brother too
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Thanx
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nice~
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Thank you!
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Beautiful! It flowed very well
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Thank you very Much
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I sence pure emotion from a young heart. You say loved as in the past, hope things are good now. Never forget better have loved then never to love at all. I like reading poems that don't rhyme I learn something new everytime.
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Thanx ya, things arent great anymore, she kinda rejected me but thats life and now i can find someone who cherish's my writing
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Very nice word usage and good emotional delivery
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Thank you so much
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Nice. very very nice.
Amazing, actually.
I believe I'm looking at one really good poet of AP.
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Thank you very much
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Beautiful! I wish a guy would write something like this for me! I love how soft and flowing it is. Wonderful work on this piece. I LOVED it!
Warmest,
Mylee -
awww this is abs beautiful and sweet, wonderful write and keep writting, take care
Stephanie ♥
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Thank you and i will!
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This is so sweet. There is nothing like that feeling. Good luck with your contests.
♥
whisper
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Thank you
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What a sweet poem! Love it. I hope the person for whom it was written appreciated it.
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Thanx and i think she did! didnt win her heart tho.
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Could you please put your username and what family member you want to be in AN
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um, sorry, im really new to thisand have no idea what AN is..
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Welcome
wow this gurl is very lucky to have you...i liked this alot it was so sweet!!
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Thank you
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Welcome to AllPoetry
aww... the girl must have been delighted. As an outside reader, I felt there were too many adjectives and the imagery too explicit, but as a dedication it's just really sweet. The third line is my favorite, as I feel it's the most poetic and the strongest, followed by "implausible smile" and "intense personality". Keep writing
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Thanks Maybe ill cut down on the adjectives next time
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