I come from the mountains, high and mighty,
And slither down the valley
I slide to the left and steal to the right,
To pass the hillocks silly
Oxbow lakes I make, as I go
And meanders on my way
From the deeps, I come to the shallows,
With the pebbles I do fray
Mind you, life’s not easy for me,
There are hardships all along,
But I break apart all the barriers,
Those come upon my journey, long.
My job is to rush on and on,
‘coz I am the mighty river,
As men do come and men do go,
But I flow on forever
The journey’s long, but I don’t tire
For I know I have to travel,
Be it shallow marshy lands,
Or sandy beds or gravel.
At places I do almost stop,
Or trudge over the pebbles.
‘n the click over with one another,
To sound like feeble trebles.
And then suddenly, I fall so low,
Making a burbling sound,
I pass by trees standing so old,
And some ferns which are newfound.
My job’s to make the valley fertile,
‘coz I am the sacred river.
As men do come and men do go,
But I flow on forever.
I bring stones from the mountains,
And deposit it as clay.
So the farmers farm in their fields,
And produce food ev’rday.
I have another important job…
It is to flatten the land.
The geography of the whole country,
Lies in my very hand.
I create the plains, the fertile plains
With my gushing water.
But you don’t understand my worth,
And spread in me all litter.
My job is to clean the nature,
‘coz I am the holy river.
As men do come and men do go,
But I flow on forever.
People fear me not for nothing,
I can also be fierce.
When I flood my vast basins,
Dry-land becomes scarce.
But I love my long journey,
Cluttering-clattering all the way…
Reeds and ferns prop along me,
Dancing and swaying so gay.
I bless you but you curse me,
The relationship’s not mutual….
You litter while I clean it up,
You don’t notice as its gradual.
I have to bless all the people,
‘coz I am the god-sent river.
As men do come and men do go
But I flow on forever.
Author notes
Inspired by the poem 'The Brook' gy Alfred Lord Tennyson
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
Dude, that was awesome! Your imagery was spectacular, and your word choice was impressive. I've never read "The Brook", but from the title of it, it feels as if you were inspired by the poem but decided to take it to the next level. I'll have to read that, too! I'm impressed with this, and clearly enjoyed reading.
Thanks!
-
I really like the imagery you have in this poem, and I can definitely see the relation to Tennyson's similar poem. There are a few times where the flow and/or wording feels a little awkward, but overall this is written very well. (Examples: as men do come and men do go, 'coz, I bring stones from the mountains and deposit it as clay (them?), spread in me all litter...) As I said though, I really like this piece. I think with a little editing it could be simply fantastic; the concept really is great. Good work!
-
A very nice and meaningful write. We take a lot of seemingly small things for granted don't we? Nice flow and meter, imagery is good and subject matter as well. Good luck and pen on...~Poo~

-
Wow this is amazing. You certainly were inspired by the poem 'The Brook.' It certainly created a magical shine in your heart causing you to write something of your own. You should be counting your blessings. Thanks for sharing this. I really enjoyed it.

Brian -
-
thnx
thanx brian.... really encouraging comment
-
1 - 5 of 5




