I try to pinpoint the sensation,
my eyes drift from ceiling
to the curtainless window,
to the stack of books on the floor
each mind's snapshot
reminds me of something,
memories flood the senses,
some happy, others not,
I ache as faces
snap into my mind's view,
I wince
and swat away the ghosts
my head falls back,
tears fall,
I am so weak
I don't know where tomorrow will take me,
I am so unsure,
I feel so small,
so invisible
I just want to hear those words,
the ones I feel so deprived of,
words my father has never spoken to me
my body sinks deeper into the pillows,
I think "how pathetic"
when all I really want
is to feel needed,
loved,
like a human
Author notes
I wrote this last night. I was feeling pretty discouraged...though pretty much this poem is how I feel most of the time.
So how was it?
Comments
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I feel your pain
and frustration. The emotions fairly scream from your words.
The only thing I can offer is friendship and, for what it's worth, this advise.
Discover what you like about yourself (like the fact that you are a good writer with an ability to express yourself beautifully) and keep that in mind when you're down.
You need to be satisfied with yourself, learn to love yourself, so that no matter what others may say (or not say) you'll know you are never dependent on them for your self-esteem.
Hang around here for a while, and I guarantee you'll make some more friends. There are lots of nice people here.
Take care, and keep writing. I know, from my own experience, it helps keep life in perspective.
*edited to add:
I guess I should have checked out your profile before asking you to stick around. You've been here longer than I have!)
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