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In the Name of Tolerance

The preachers preaching holy ghosts,
when no one really seems to care.
The bull shit spills from talk show hosts
and all this madness fills the air.

When no one really seems to care
the politician's trumpet boasts
and all this madness fills the air,
as sludge and tar pollute our coasts.

The politician's trumpet boasts
and lonely lives are in despair,
as sludge and tar pollute our coasts,
the starving saints live on welfare.

And lonely lives are in despair
and homeless sleep beneath lampposts,
the saints are living on welfare,
we miss the scriptural guideposts.

And homeless sleep beneath lampposts,
while evil breeds a millionaire,
we miss the scriptural guideposts.
Deception traps us unaware.

While evil breeds a millionaire,
the bull shit spills from talk show hosts.
Deception traps us unaware,
the preachers preaching holy ghosts.

 

 

Author notes

I increased the difficulty of this form by using only two rhyming sounds. If you study the structure, this will only work with an even number of stanzas or else the last stanza becomes monorhyme. I composed it this way to make the meter seem like a rant as the image is frustrating.

 

Pantoum:
The pantoum consists of a series of quatrains rhyming ABAB in which the second and fourth lines of a quatrain recur as the first and third lines in the succeeding quatrain; each quatrain introduces a new second rhyme as BCBC, CDCD. The first line of the series recurs as the last line of the closing quatrain, and third line of the poem recurs as the second line of the closing quatrain, rhyming ZAZA.
The structure is simple:
Line 1
Line 2
Line 3
Line 4
Line 5 (repeat of line 2)
Line 6
Line 7 (repeat of line 4)
Line 8
Continue with as many stanzas as you wish, but the ending stanza then repeats the second and fourth lines of the previous stanza (as its first and third lines), and also repeats the third line of the first stanza, as its second line, and the first line of the first stanza as its fourth. So the first line of the poem is also the last.
Last stanza:
Line 2 of previous stanza
Line 3 of first stanza
Line 4 of previous stanza
Line 1 of first stanza

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Andre ben-YEHU
    June 7
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    Star of Excellence...


    A flawless twenty-four brilliant cut (LINES) radiant diamond to light the doors of literary eternity.

    This is poetic flower diffuses scent of beauty through its petals of wisdom, and stimulates the learning mind.

    "In the Name of Tolerance" is a Star of Excellence.

    In admiration,

    Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU


  • Florida Sunshine
    August 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW - This is by far impressive ~ I loved the read of this from start to finish!

    You are quite an amazing poet, the added difficulty is also outstanding, because the piece flows beautifully off the lips you've made it natural.

    Good luck in the contest ~


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    August 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yes indeed!! I totally agree with your sentiments here Amera! It seems to be the way of the world!

    Fantastic write!


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    August 7, 2008

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    Sister you REALLY pulled the pin out of this one before you threw it! Just about the only criticism one could begin to make is the old trap of rhyming two compound nouns with the same final element (lampposts and guideposts) but - jings, crivvens, help ma boab - who the hell cares? And we've all done it, and sometimes it works anyway. This is just a cracking use of the form. You got the rant 100%, the obsessive rollicking of the repetitive rhyme-scheme, the strict rhythm, and the unafraid use of the odd bluey, all saw to that.

    Definitely not bad, eh?

    Bunny, bunny, bunny,


    • Amera gold member
      August 7, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      Wow! Now that’s a comment! Impressing you Sis is not an easy task. You made my day with this “Not Bad”.


  • Pure Thought silver member
    August 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Well written !!!

    Even a poor free-verser like me can appreciate your talent in this one.

    Look what stirring up my thinking does.

    I this it's time for a world dictator. Want the job?
    Well, maybe a benevolent queen.

    We are a society of children, who never seem to learn our lessons.

  • Eusebius
    August 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    bravo

    Yes, an extremely high degree of difficulty here! Exceptionally well done! I would not even attempt such a hard structure! Exellent! bravo... bravo... bravo...


  • Elfin
    August 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    villanelle and pantoum are my favourite forms so this contest as been sheer heaven. Amera you have took the pantoum a whole step higher to a higher degree of difficulty. Well done to you and good luck in the contest. Val


  • echo-ink
    August 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    forgot these, oops.

  • echo-ink
    August 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    OMG

    This is beyond belief, I can't even begin to tell you what a masterpeice this is, I feel totally blown away, I have only started writting form poetry myself, and am still in the process of learning them, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out this Pantoum goes way beyond the rules of a perfect form. The story line was excellent, the rhyme perfect, everything was perfect. Everything. thanks for entering and good luck. PL


  • PerVirtuous
    August 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I got to see this pantoum evolve. I am certain that nobody reading this has any idea how hard it is to do a pantoum using just two rhyming words throughout. You learn that you must make an even number of stanzas or your rhyme scheme is thrown off. Finding that many of each rhyme is difficult. Then making them all work to create a cohesive unit with repeating lines is like a very difficult jigsaw puzzle.

    This one is superb. You capture the image so well, and the repetition is seamless. Like protestors chanting, this brings the message home with power. Great write!


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    August 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank God for keen poets such as you Amera, I am learning a good deal about metrical/rhyme poetry,
    and this is a fine example to be sure!


    All the best,
    with much love,
    mj.


  • HisDirtyLiLPoet
    August 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    First of all I love the Pantoum! They're a lot of fun to write. Second, You're absolutely right with everything you address in this poetic piece of mastery. It's strong, powerful, and speaks the hard core truth of our society. It's poems like this that at times like we're in now that truly stand out and allows our voices to be heard --

    Have a good morning beautiful,
    She-ra


  • cricketjeff gold member
    August 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A really excellent pantoum, the nature of the subject matter makes repetition sound right and the repeat lines each sound fresh on their second use.
    The best pantoum writer on AP at her best.!

1 - 15 of 15