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Slowly Waking

on a morning with liquid sky
I drink black coffee in bed
after a night in the forest
of metal and glass towers
where concrete gutters
catch chrome stars
like quicksilver.

grey sheets of billowing rain
curtain the windows
on the forty-eighth floor
and reveal a city as it melts
in ripples with the wash.

stunned and thick with
hangover, I reach
my goal of sitting
just before noon
whispering my prayer:
“thank God for room service.”


later I will discover who
still sleeps under the sheets.


















A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10
  • a n e s t h e s ia
    November 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    How dodgy were my comments. This is truly amazing. I thought I'd print a few poems, something I seldom do, but I couldn't resist about. . 6 of yours. So far, that is lol.


  • logorrhoea
    September 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Just breath-taking. Its beauty is unreal, yet so vividly real at the same time.
    and bookmarked.


  • charcoal
    September 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    came back to read it. Of all your poems this one has stayed with me. and yes, the surprise ending here is no gimmick. delivers every time.

    enjoyed reading it again.

    will come back to it


  • JinSays gold member
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful.
    The last line is classic, and you made me laugh.
    Beautiful trophy, congratulations.
    jin


  • Saffron gold member
    August 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "stunned and thick with hangover" and awaiting to see is still asleep under the sheet--I would need several cups of strong black coffee to face that...I loved your take on the prompt, and I could almost sense the darkness of the room blanketed with the grey rain, and the need to keep it dark in the room just a little while longer before reality sets in...

    I am so pleased to see this here


    Saffron


  • tara wilson gold member
    August 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    lolol...I have read this so many times..and the ending is always just as good as the time before...excellent

    i really think this poem is to be taken not in a sexual way, though...as in later.. you will discover something new about yourself...as all days

    or it could be just who you slept with last night


    well done, Garrison..


  • KayJay
    August 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful imagery and a terrific story.... and a classic ending ... Well done and best of luck...
    Ken


  • ArtFullyMe silver member
    August 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Love the descriptions of the window, and city behind it as literally it makes me see heavy rain and the way it turns solid things into ripples, distorting everything like some great watercolor painting.. and with it creates a tone full of weight, almost empty, far too full...
    like thoughts when they dig through a fog..
    and somewhat bitter like black coffee is..

    although I like black coffee, for some reason sugar seems to overpower its body, but then coffee itself never tastes as good as its scent, to me at least..

    excellent....rich work...a painting in my eyes.

  • charcoal
    August 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    oh..street lights and cars!!!
    is that right?
    lol


  • charcoal
    August 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful write..as strong as a cup of black coffee. raw and gritty. was wondering what you meant by metal and glass trees and chrome stars?

    love the surprise ending too.

1 - 10 of 10