Warming is the dead horse, that rides in the pale light
For it shall come for me, with my death tonight
I have not a life to live, nor do I have a friend
For I tap on the red light, glittering in the wind
Penetrating beyond my mind, giving me desire
Burning not the life, but burning like the fire
The serpent is dancing now, lifting up his tongue
For what is my sin, for what have I done?
For I know my guiltiness, but know not my wrong
I stepped into the beauty, not where I belong
It seemed like I was wanted, when I was standing there
Was not I standing in love, was I standing in air?
For now I stand alone,laughing in the rain
And now my horse has come, now I feel no pain
A contest entry
- Walking into the Darkness! by vampireblood.
300 points, ended September 21, 2008, 66 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dead Inside by XxSuicidal-LovexX.
1500 points, ended August 9, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poetry, Poetry and PreWrites! by Lost Vampyre Angel.
1200 points, ended September 13, 2008, 340 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Imagery, Emotion, Imaginatinon by Commodore Rouge.
1050 points, ended November 30, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Oh, this is awesome! I like the dark side to this poem, but that effect wasn't overwhelming, and I appreciated that.
I like how you're referring to death and stuff with a horse, or at least that's how I see it. It seems like a lot of poetry I've read lately reminds me of something, and this reminds me of Terry Pratchett's "Reaper Man", dealing with the grim reaper. You rhyme well, and it doesn't sound forced. I'm grateful for that.
Overall, you did a great job with this, and I enjoyed reading your submission for the contest. Thanks for the entertainment!
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A good write here in dark poetry..I personally have not written much in this area, so I give those who start doing it and continue when it is not something they write alot..a get deal of credit..Wonderful imagery...Keep up the good work!
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Nice imagery. A touch of darkness and a hint of pain aswell. Nice rhyming too. I liked reading this alot. Thanks yew for entering and good luck
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I personally liked this. It was different. There was some good imagery portrayed here. There were some couplets that I liked better then others, but overall I loved this piece. =] Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
<3 Vampy
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