Kicking and screaming with tears in my eyes
I try to run and I try to hide
My worst fears make my mom weep
Happiness disolves when I go to sleep
Falling to pieces I can't fix us up
I go crazy, we've all had enough
Completely dark lights and insane things
I try to fly with broken wings
It's crazy the things that make me scared
The numbers and living life with no one who cares,
I swear it's just the impossible thoughts
That give me these feelings, the fears that I've got
My tongue feels swollen as it lies in my head
I open my eyes and jump out of my bed
Yelling things at my Mom and my Dad
They try to wake me up, but failing, he gets mad
He shakes me and tells me that this isn't real
In my sleep it's happening and that's how I feel
It's like I'm dying four billion times
I just wish that this only happened sometimes
Even when I'm awake I still can't be
Why do these horrible things happen to me?
The air is choked out of my chest
At night I am afraid to lie down and just rest
I know that when I fall asleep
I'll drown in water that's not at all deep
Afraid of things that are not real
Fear all the time is what I feel
I lie still in the morning light
My face drenched with tears from last night
With no memory of what happened before
They tell me I kicked them and screamed for MORE
Author notes
-Silver-
I WANT TO WIN! =]
A contest entry
- Fear by Zerstort.
570 points, ended August 23, 2008, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Something Sad by LittleDecoy.
900 points, ended August 31, 2008, 85 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me what wins silver around here by AutumnGypsy.
550 points, ended August 27, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything you want by MrCrepsley.
600 points, ended September 10, 2008, 195 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - once again - 4 OPTIONS (PW ALLOWED) by Rhythm Child.
400 points, ended January 24, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I WANT ANYTHING! by Umi Juvariel.
4300 points, ended April 9, 369 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES THAT HAVE WON BRONZE OR SILVER ONLY by liquidmindforever.
400 points, ended May 31, 99 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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RULES
Dear Poet,
Thank you for entering your poem into my
contest: PREWRITES FOR BRONZE &SILVER
WINNERS, ONLY
Please return to the rules. There take note
...you have missed two essentials.
Once complied, advise me either with TITLE by im or place "edit" alongside your work.
Then, I'll be pleased to read your entry
Till then,
stay
liquid -
I have night terrors. I totally feel you in this poem. I love your imagery here, and the rhyme that brought a child-like quality to it. Wonderfully done here. Excellent write and good luck in my contest.
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oh wow, being scared to fall asleep must be absolutely TERRIBLE. nobody likes nightmares, but to be constantly followed by them...
i really love the piece you wrote from your experiences though
fear is a powerful emotion, and i love the way you captured it so vividly
love the ending, as scary as it is... don't let your fear take over your life...!!
thanks so much for entering! -
This surely is a piece to tug at the heart, it must be an awful experience to go through night terrors. I wish them away for you. Best to you
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wow. they may have made your life hell but they helped you create a powerful piece.
i really liked this. =)
thanks for entering & good luc -
Gosh, I actually felt shivers when I read this.
The context is seriously scary, & I'm going to pass on some advice
"do not fall back on the conventional words and ways and therefore you may develop your own unique style .."
In some lines it seems a tad cliched, and the rhyme a little forced.
I can't talk however because I can't rhyme to save my life, and I'm cliched all over.
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i CAN SEE THUS HAPPENING. THIS IS AMZINGLY WONDERFULLY WRITTEN. GREAT JOB. KEEP UP THE WORK.
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Wow, I loved it!! Very visual, not forced, great flow, this is an all-around great write!! Keep up the good work!
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Amazing.
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wow. mate, good poem, i like the rhythm... but be careful that the rhyming (cnt spell) doesn't carry you away. it didn't in this case, but in one line it NEARLY did. again, great read, it flowed well and the end is really effective!!
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Very deep and sad. God Bless and I hope you get through this.
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I agree with AngieMarie...this is scary!
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Ok honestly.. i could picture your parents panicing..
not a fun image
Amazing.. as sad as it is.. it's still amazing.
Angie
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yes they do tend to freak out when it happens.
thanks!
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I loved this. The flow seemed so natural, and the rhyme didn't seem very forced until the very last couple lines. Run outta words there, love? :3 Anyways, besides that veryvery small last part, it was a wonderful write! Nice job, dear. I'd only suggest Capitalizing the first letter of each word in your title. It sounds so anal, I know, but it gives the poem a more professional look, I think. More serious. I dunno, it's something I'm all spaztardish about >.> Ignore my OCD, just focus on the lovely write you've produced.
Haha, enough babble for you to decipher? <33
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ha thanks for the advice. I'm very OCD aswell, don't worry.
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Wow, brilliant write!!! Good work!!!
Very good, I really like it... -
WOW!!! This is amazing, and so deep. I love the flow of it, and the rhyming, mostly cause it was perfect, and I cant do it at all. I love the first stanza, Beautiful Write.
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wow.. thanks haha thats really nice
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well i can truly tell u that i know exactly how u feel. i'm sorry that anyone has to go through this. its nice to have someone tehre to wake u up ...or try to.
i feel ur pain. very very good write -
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thanks do you have night terrors? I'm just wondering.. i can never find anyone to talk to about night terrors who has them
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actually i used to. then one day they stopped. if u need to talk i have aim and msn
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So you're one of the lucky ones haha
I have aim too. my name is alpatton1 =)
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thanks do you have night terrors? I'm just wondering.. i can never find anyone to talk to about night terrors who has them
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P to the S, A-face..
Daddy has/had night terrors.. not that you'd be comfy talking to him about it.. but if all else fails he's a good person to talk to. as i wouldn't say what I have are as bad as that.
Love you lady! -
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haha A-face.
yeah my dad's always telling me how at camp he screams alot in his sleep. That must suck for you.
love you too!
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