Is that you, soldado,
Is that you, or just another figment of a soaked imagination?
I fear it is the latter,
I haven't seen you since October, and I doubt you'd want to see me now.
I take a look around this courtyard,
Where the trees seem to move on their own.
Where, oh where, did my Cuervo go?
I sit in my chair, feeling around for the glass bottle
That the stronger me would have resisted.
I am no longer strong, mi angel, mi soldado.
You know that, but it's not your fault
Just mine.
The tequila burns me as I think,
Forcing the thoughts back,
A small mercy as I kill myself with the drink.
Somewhere between full and empty
I see you there between the trees,
A glorious hallucination of a soused imagination.
Mi angel, my soldado....
This I have become, pathetic in my pain
Resorting to the age-old trick of drinking away the memories.
The drink burns me as the pain pills kick in
And I doubt you're really there.
Go away, let me do this in peace, angel,
Let me die in a sense of peace
But at the bottom of the bottle I still smell you,
Still feel you,
Still see you.
At the bottom of the bottle you're still there,
And I'm finally fading, in the courtyard,
Your voice yelling at me through the trees.
Author notes
Not one of my proudest moments....
Mi Angel: "my angel"
Mi Soldado: "my soldier"
A contest entry
- Hallucinations and Euphoria by MissPennyLane.
450 points, ended September 24, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything you want...Show me Your Best Poems..I need inspiration..PW's Welcome! by Hetha.
2100 points, ended August 20, 2008, 159 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Mistakes by XHollowXEyesX.
600 points, ended August 19, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poetry, Poetry and PreWrites! by Lost Vampyre Angel.
1200 points, ended September 13, 2008, 340 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Hmmmish......
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This was a very powerful piece, with very vivid imagery. I agree with the HollowEyes that the blending of languages made it really effective. Great job on this, and thank you for your entry.
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wow this is such a deep and touching write. I love how you blended the two languages. great work.
Thanks for entering
All the best
~Hollow~ -
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Yeah, I wish I could actually speak the language anymore. I used to be fluent, but you know the old adage, 'use it or lose it'. Thanks for the comment.
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I love this, the first 5 or 6 lines really just drew me in with their cadence and beauty. This poem almost sounds like it is translated from a different language, with your wonderful choice of Spanish words and also the lilting repetition, so direct yet also leaving much out. It captures the spirit of drunkenness well. Great job!
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It kinda felt like I had to translate it from my feelings at the time into plain (mostly) English. Abd ha ha, he speaks Spanish, and would get the references. Hopefully. Thanks for the comment and applause.
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Where, oh where, did my Cuervo go? (smiles) I look for it only to find another dead worm in a bottle of tequila!
I like the blend of Spanish with English. Especially mi soldado ... it has a nice flavor. Like pico de guayo. Thanks for the entry
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