Blistering decay
rotted inside mindless meatpuppet
Boils pussing hatreds envious green ooze
Jaundiced eyes peer sereptitiously
into hollowed promise of night
Blood thirst to quench longing of drained heart
Infested soul with mosquito appetite
He spies,he flies to the next crimson aquaduct
Dig it man,this is who I am
Tilting the flask,dropping the mask
Cold corpse breath exhaling death
Raving whiplash precision behind lunatic smile
Calculating cornertrash getting high
Crack cocaine,heroin,and hash don't stand a chance
in this devils masquerade when I pay for the dance
Stabbing vile diseased holes
standing at the helm of murderous controls
where the moon licks emanciated bodies for the last time
I shed no tears
I have no fears
life and death pass as easily from one hand as to the other
I promise I'll listen to your lies
convulse on regurgitated sighs
I'll lay you down and place the coins upon your eyes
Here there be no mercy
Here there be monsters
Author notes
atrist cred.-http//i243.photobucket.com/albums/ff71/death_dealer_1/Angel_of _Death.jpg
A contest entry
- Let your imagination run wild...PICTURES! ^-^ by Sick Sunshine.
300 points, ended August 26, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkness of Death by Maili Knephthan.
1000 points, ended February 23, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hate! Prewrite's allowed by Ami.
550 points, ended July 12, 86 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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this is really cool, I really like it
esp the bit
"in this devils masquerade when I pay for the dance"
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Thanks for entering!
Okay, the first thing I noticed about this poem is the lack of punctuation. Trust me when I tell you that punctuation is your friend
On a slightly related note (and I say this as someone who did the same thing for years!), it isn't necessary to capitalise the beginning of every line, unless the form specifically calls for it... the beginning of each sentence is fine
However, this poem has rich imagery, and a stunning vocabulary; I was blown away.
Thankyou so much for entering this piece, and I wish you the best of luck!
Maria
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the last lines remind me of this spephen king short story Here There Be Tygers. Anyways, nice write. i love the description that you put into this. Good luck in my contesst
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Its very well written, fitting the picture fairly well. I didn't see any mistakes the grammar was excellent. Flowing well off the tongue. I enjoyed the read. Thank you for entering my contest. Thank you for sharing.
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This is fiercely revolting, it makes me feel uncomfortable and squeamish. Good work! You have a rare talent of making the reader cringe from the harsh reality of your words, yet you keep an interesting nightmarish form. I was floored to say the least- I applaud you for your talent in this prickly subject matter.
This stood out for me:
"in this devils masquerade when I pay for the dance"
Superbly jolting-
all the best and thanks for entering,
KP
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Wow! erm what can i say! thisis incredible. Your anger is so strong.
The imagery here is fantastic. I can feel and imagine every word here.
Well done and thank you for entering my contest
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I have to say I enjoyed everything about this poem, except the first stanza, for some reason it just didn't feel right to me.....As for one of my favorite parts:
"Dig it man,this is who I am
Tilting the flask,dropping the mask
Cold corpse breath exhaling death
Raving whiplash precision behind lunatic smile"
nice job, I really enjoyed this, I'm going to have to re-visit this soon and re-read, I have a feeling that this is the kind of poem that you can get more and more with each subsequent read. Thanks for entering! -
thank you for entering, this was an amazing peice which unfortunately i could relate to alot, thank you for entering and good luck, ill taake a second look at this
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Thank you for the comment and read
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didn't really enjoy reading the first two stanzas but the whole poem was amazingly penned. i liked it. such imagry put into words. great job
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the dark side...
I still love this part of your mind. -
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It's still me...just been visiting another side of my mind.
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A beatnik vampire? Groovy...
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wow this is wicked.. i loved it .. yet it gave me shivers bringing back to life the beast within me..
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Eek, this is SCARY.
I'm not sure if I liked it or not,
but the imagery was fantastic.
good luck in all those contests
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Great write, love drug addicted poems. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck, Keep up the good work!
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thanks for you entry great write, best of luck
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WOw
Got it -
almost in tears...
this one hit the spot.
looks like a pre-write.. but honestly I can't even tell. It fits the picture flawlessly.. quite frankly.. you've set the bar to beat. #1 choice right here.
Thank you soo much for entering!
the poem, seems to me.. very much full of sadness and anger. At least that's how I saw it.. Definatly rid my mind of it's worries..and took me to another place.. another world.. another mind.
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Stabbing vile diseased holes
standing at the helm of murderous controls
Where the moon licks emanciated bodies for the last time
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i like that stanza
the imagery is very nice
goodluck in the contest
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"You're off the edge of the map, boy...here there be monsters."
A little Pirate of the Caribbean in there, and a dash of Alice Cooper too... This is absolutely fantastic, and I love it, but I don't think it fits the contest. Thanks, though.
Peace & love,
xx Sin -
Emotions that are uncontained are usually the best to draw inspiration from...and you have captured a raw emotion in this poem that can only be described by the words YOU used...You explained yourself remarkably.
-Victoria
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Very raw the way you describe yourself....many people could never do so...
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I promise I'll listen to your lies
convulse on regurgitated sighs
I'll lay you down and place the coins upon your eyes
WOW. I love those lines,
so much emotion
& nice imagery.
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This is well thought out, thank you for entering my contest
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Well the beast speaks
I Don't know what to say, this is an awesome poem from start to finish. I especially loved the lines "Calculating cornertrash getting high
crack cocaine, heroin, and hash don't stand a chance
in the devils masquerade when I pay for the dance". I can see a lot of imagination went into this write. Good luck in the contest.
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WOW
Darker than the other write's you've written at least in my opinion, I love how you worded everything. It appears that your absense hasn't hindered your writing ability in the slightest. Good luck my dear friend, I'm looking forward to speaking to you again.
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