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all for the love of a bonny girl in blue

Missing image

yesterday you chased the tumbling windflowers

barefoot in the  laughing sunlight

 

since when the breezes veered

that now wind your wrap in strange shapes

 

against the shifting northerly

the grey landscape and slanting raindrops

 

 

if you were not flying far in thought

I could recognize the sky-glint in your eyes

 

for I have gazed into them and lost myself there

kissed a blush or two from summer lips

 

taken humming-bird sips from each

never dreaming they were to last me for ever

 

 

so I shall take passage in a fleet ship

and slip south before the North Wind’s jealousy

 

and if my messmates ask why my station is the taffrail

why my look is always to landward

 

I shall sing of the wind-whipped flowers of home

and it’s all for love of a bonny girl in blue

 

all for the love of a bonny girl in blue…

 

 

Author notes

"Free verse is a term describing various styles of poetry that are written without using strict meter or rhyme, but that still are recognizable as poetry by virtue of complex patterns of one sort or another that readers will perceive to be part of a coherent whole."

In a list

A contest entry

The purpose of this poem is to fulfill the criterion of free verse as set out above, to do so with simplicity of theme and treatment, and to sail close to traditional poetry or folk song in doing so.

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Comments

1 - 29 of 29

  • cricketjeff gold member
    August 20, 2008

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    At times on this site I read free verse and wonder why? (it must be said one of the free versers I read is me so this is understandable) I always know there are two or three poets I can turn to to convince me that you can have pure poetry without exacting patterns of rhyme and meter.
    You take small themes and make great canvases you pick selectively from a wide vocabulary to allow the poem to be read without a dictionary to hand but still to stretch the reader.
    This is a great poem. Way beyond "not bad".
    I know I can say for me, and I think for the other two judges as well this was a tough job and a good learning experience. Now write a rinky dink ballad or a sonnet please!


  • Amera gold member
    August 20, 2008

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    I was not the only judge for my contest and this poem deserves special recognition. The least I can do is put an Amera gold on it.

  • Amera gold member
    August 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I really had to restrain myself from commenting on this poem earlier. Since it’s in a contest that I’m judging I waited until now because I have so much to evaluate. I first read it to enjoy myself as I always do when reading your work. I now read it several times to absorb the technical and emotional aspects of the composition. I do this in great humility as I am not worthy to critique a masterpiece that is penned above my own ability. The vocabulary and language structure is world class. I found the poem to be oozing with sad intonation but the phraseology is captivating. As in most of your work, you have used your gift to weave together imagery and emotion and form a motion picture in the reader’s mind that brings a tear to the eye. You used the perfect picture for this poem as I have a special place in my heart for your avatar. Thank you so much for entering your heart in our contest.

    Love,
    Amera♥


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      August 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, Sis. I am very glad you appreciate what I am trying to do here.


  • Gold Hat
    August 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Forget the "minority report". I can see precisely what you have done here. It is pitched perfectly, and shows just how wide the scope of "free verse" can be. So what if a metaphor here and there is familiar? That is precisely the kind of thing that folk music and folk poetry picks up and runs with. Gold - or I will eat my hat!


  • PerVirtuous
    August 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    First of all, I would like to commend you on the enormous challenge you gave yourself in writing this poem. I can see what you were doing here and the concept is exceptional in scope and construction.

    Having said that, in my humble opinion, any poem that starts with such a common metaphor as;

    yesterday you chased the tumbling windflowers
    barefoot in the laughing sunlight

    has an uphill climb from there. I give you kudos for being ambitious.

    Thank you for this most worthy entry in our contest.

    *This comment has been edited*




  • sailor ptolema
    August 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This so lovely, and reads as if carried by the wind . I adore your diction.
    "northerly" ,"North Wind’s ", "wind-whipped", etc . The repetition of the varied winds works really well. I mean, this is divine. It's like reading an oil painting by Thomas Kinkade .
    ...Or, according to the list it's in, J W Waterhouse! lol.
    This piece is so strong.
    g'luck!

    sailor ptolema

    `


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    August 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    As Always

    Beautifully crafted. I don't know if I have read much for your freeverse but I do know that your form poetry is the best I have ever read on this site, and I have said the same all along, I just LOVE the way your write.

    This lovely poem is no exception and inspired too, by one of my favorite artists as well. Waterhouse is a master. I love the pencil . . .

    Well done. A pleasure to have read such an enchanting poem. ~Pamela


  • Peteskid gold member
    August 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    there are patterns here which are taught to the reader mesmerized by the words...lovely narration, endearing beauty in these verses...'skid


  • Dalaney gold member
    August 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    simply exquisite. i had to read you before signing off and oh, how this has inspired me, Mairi. I cannot imagine a more beautiful piece to enter.... Love, Lane

    PS: you truly do paint the most lovely images for me to get lost in.

    • Mairi bheag gold member
      August 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I am so glad this pleased you. I hope to hear good news from you soon. Until then, take a big hug wherever you go.


  • maa gold member
    August 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the "hummingbird-sips", in the native american tradition (see, I DO love the ancient ways ), hummingbird-spirit represents the bringer of joy - which you have so beautifully and sensitively expressed here ...
    you very much remind me of a troubadour singing graceful verses of longing to his beloved ... sigh ...

    I very much love your freeverse, I already told you so, I think ...

    wishing you all the best in amera's poetic gathering ...

    much love,
    maa


  • arafura gold member
    August 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "so I shall take passage in a fleet ship
    and slip south before the North Wind’s jealousy"

    Wonderful! This is exceptional.


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    August 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A beautiful, enviable piece Mairi, very traditional and apropos with lovely imagery.


    All the best,
    with much love,
    mj.


  • Pure Thought silver member
    August 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Spellbinding free verse

    Perfect.


  • deercatcher
    August 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Left wanting more...

  • Bad Bill
    August 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A wonderfully Romantic poem. I very much like the two-line format and the piece is a delight to read.

    Bill


  • Ceridwens Soul silver member
    August 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for giving me the push to look at Waterhouse again, not that I need much of one to dive into art galleries. You really have brought Boreas wonderfully alive here. Ab Fab!


  • creationsfromheart
    August 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This write is trully wonderful and I enjoyed this very much, I think forever should be as one word, however the write is perfectly painted in words compared to the picture. Good luck.


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      August 5, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. "Forever" wouldn't work grammatically in that context.

      Glad you enjoyed it.

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