the snow falls down apon us as we sand outside the school.
we see the little kids playing and laughing.
i lookup at you to see you looking down at me.
you grab my sholders and pull me in to you arms.
i can feel the wormth of you breth goind down my nick.
the beating of your heart as it starts to beat louder and faster.
i feel you squeez me for a moment then you let go and push yourself away.
you left me standing there in the snow so confused and shocked.
i couldnt believed what you just did.
and how you left me in the snow with out a word.
the spring is almost here and the snow has gone away,
but the worth of your body and the sound of your heart beat will never melt away.
A contest entry
- How much can you take? by Wulf-Eyez De Winter.
450 points, ended September 7, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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This is very good; the only suggestion I would have is to do a quick spell-check (i.e. - wormth is actually warmth, sholders is shoulders, breth is breath, nick I am pretty sure should be neck, and I think in the first line you meant to say stand instead of sand).
Best of luck in the contest. -
This is Beautiful....sad but beautiful
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Welcome to AllPoetry
A wonderful expression of love and dispair.
You have a few spelling errors such as 'worth'/'wormth' - 'warmth'
'breth' - 'breath' 'nick' - 'neck'
but this is a great poem!
♥
Enjoy AllPoetry
Stay safe
~Manda
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