Icy charcoal of the mind
Meets the caltrop 'neath the sun
Where, for once defying time
Rose of eternal love was hung.
Sunlight falls from withered skies
Mingling with the flakes of snow.
In a world where all must die
We ask, what is love's true role?
In answer, clouds give us a tear.
The morning fog unveils the mist.
We gaze across the empty years...
Except for love, all meaningless.
Water caltrop of the soul
Sunlit petals drift inert.
Without the passion it's too cold
Without others, too cold for the heart.
Author notes
Slant rhymes... you know, they're a lot harder than they look!
Inspiration: The second line of a poem written in Chinese in the book Dream of the Red Chamber . Here's my translation:
Spoil your child and you're foolish
The lonely water caltrop watches the snow.
Be careful after the lanturn festival
It is a time when fire dies and smoke subsides.
Also, stage 10 of Duana's AP Slam, THE RIGHT BAR HOOK
We hadn't gotten to stage 10, and she gave us this hint to prepare:
"Give us an amazing poem using the following elements.
1) Pick a form (sonnet, villanelle, litanies, regna)
2) Slant rhymes in an AB rhyme scheme
3) 16 bar stanza. "
I originally wrote half of this as practice for slant rhymes, but then I found out that I wouldn't be able to make the slam. As a result, I just finished it as a poem. As you can see, I tried slant rhymes in AB scheme and this poem has 16 lines.
A contest entry
- Ages 14 and under: YOUR FAVORITE PREWRITE by Sky Prince Ireland.
800 points, ended December 15, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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wow. pretty
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wow this is beautiful. it sounds like melting pearls. if melting pearls were poems. lol but yeah, amazing poem and good luck in the contest! <3
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Wow this is great. Divine and well imaged.
Thanks for entering. Good luck.
Brian -
Holy smokes girl your an amazing poet! Good this poem makes me thing of like a perfectly planed out painting. Idk why or even how to explan it but its like a well thought out masterpiece! Seriously this is amazing!
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PS hard to believe you are only 13 years old. You did a great job on that article you wrote. You know you showed valuable skills that will take you far and that you could build on and develop if you ever decide to go into the research methods field!
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This is very very nicely done and the design is just perfect! You would have gotten a nice high score on this one in the slam!
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Thank you! I tried writing this as quick as possible, but with the revisions it took a lot more than 3 minutes... about 10 minutes, I think. It is really challenging writing with a time limit!
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This is beautiful!!! absolutely beautiful.
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