Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

The Old Sage



I saw the old Sage in his cave, a wise man he was said to be,
I'm pleased he saw a common man, a backwoods clod like me.

I said to him;" please sir, will you tell me,is my corn crop sure to grow?
'cause I need some coin to buy a wife, I'm not married yet , you know."

"How loud you plead for signs,young man,Now  I will state it so
When harvest's done you'll meet your needs, that's all you have to know.

No I can not prove this, you must learn to trust your heart.
What you have is plenty, if you just play your part"

Author notes

A re write of another poem.Hermit

A contest entry

Comments please

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • just mercedes gold member
    September 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A very wise poet here!


    • rbruce gold member
      September 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      It took me a long long time to trust my own heart, and it works.Most of us have plenty, we just want to keep up with the people acroos the street, who appear to have more.


  • DawnBaby
    August 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest!


    • rbruce gold member
      August 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I thank you for hosting a contest which I can enter, and I appreciate your comments.


  • Cynewulf
    August 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very good, I love the flow & rhyme scheme, it gives an almost parable or folk song element to it. And it ends on a moral (sort of). Excellent.

    • rbruce gold member
      August 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I am in your debt for this comment. You have said it gives an almost parable or folk song element to it. That was what I was trying to achieve, Thank you. It has a sort of moral ending, good advice.


  • Recluse Writer gold member
    August 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hey...Hiccups is MY SAYING!!!


    Loved the content of this and as usual your style worked wonderfully.
    I had a slight attack in places but nothing that Raspberry Cordial and a tweak could not fix.
    Cheers Bob
    Linda

    • rbruce gold member
      August 5, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      We all get ...Hiccups! I shall have an iced coffee thanks, Resberry cordial upsets my delicate digestion. It does need a tweak. Thank for comment on this one.


  • condor gold member
    August 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, yes. This is perfect. The flow is definately there and wonderfully rhymed. You're definately very good at this type of thing. If i was to try and put one of my unrhyming poems into rhyme, i don't think it would work, but maybe i will learn from you and i can improve my one's.

    • rbruce gold member
      August 5, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Its a bit of work but you can do it. I was not very happy with the original version. It had hiccups.
      Many thanks, my friend.

1 - 10 of 10