A warm breeze brushes across my face,
The darkness surrounds the beach.
I hear the waves crash onto the cool sand below my feet,
The fireflies light the path to the sea.
I follow the trail to your heart, your castle,
The path is blocked by a sealed steel door.
This ten foot tall locked door stands,
Between your love, and my bliss.
The only way to open this door is the key,
The key unlocks all your hesitation and doubts.
In order to obtain this key, I must battle the waves,
To prove my love, fight through the fear.
I swam to the island and back,
expecting surrender, expecting the barrack to break.
The door stood tall as I reached into my pocket,
The wet seaweed unraveled and revealed a golden object.
The key fit flawlessly as I turned and hoped,
The door creaked open as I pushed, anticipation overwhelming.
All fear and doubts melted away with the sun overhead,
The ocean was calm, not a word was said,
We laid together, the gentle breeze over our faces again.
A contest entry
- GET YOUR POEMS OUT THERE by Ken-Maverick.
450 points, ended August 17, 2008, 32 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think the author is trying to illustrate?
Comments
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Wow, an amazing poem. I loved how you used metaphors. Beautifully written, I felt I was there. The only thing and this is just a suggestion, but the last line you might want to put "once." "We laid together, the gentle breeze over our faces "once" again." I don't know I thought it would sound better, it is up to you. Good Luck in the contest.
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Amazing
your very talented, i loved it
i love how you let people in
and see you for that, its amazing.
its easy to feel this way
you phrase your words beautiful
good luck in the contested
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Dude, this is an amazing piece of artwork
you have captured my imagination
i felt like i was there walkin with you
"The only way to open this door is the key,
The key unlocks all your hesitation and doubts.
In order to obtain this key, I must battle the waves,
To prove my love, fight through the fear."
Amazing metaphores
All the best in the contest
Ken
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