Okay so I wouldn't exactly say ashamed,
But no doubt, I feel we are all to blame,
More embarrassed about what we have became,
Of not how far we have come,
I've said it before, a person is smart but people are dumb,
I'm prepared to fight, most are just ready to run,
To see the things people do to one another,
Everyone living under cover,
Not accepting the truth thats staring us in the face,
If we keep it up, we might end up seeing the end of our race,
And what then would be left, but empty space,
Most live backwards and don't see what they should,
As time passes I see more hate and rage, rather then good,
What happened to compassion and loving our fellow man,
what changed?, How did it get so out of hand?,
With all the coruption and distrust in our nation,
I just don't understand and it gives me such frustration,
Why can't the masses come to my realization,
That to be apart of this society, it's our responsibility, we need no ones authorization,
Can't handle it sometimes, to witness all the wrong around,
But we must rise, because only we can hold ourselves down.
A contest entry
- Ashamed to be Human by Death of the Author.
450 points, ended August 31, 2008, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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ACK.
Good first two lines, but NO NO NO! "what we have became" - either "what we became" or "what we have become". I feel you only did it the way you did so it rhymed with the first two lines. That was a nasty bit of poetry, but easily changed!!!
person is smart... - nice line
I really like it up until the 4 lines beginning with nation. Well actually that ones fine...the next seems forced so it will rhyme...and the next I guess and the next one is just far too long. It is going along very smoothly then BAM it hit that line and just stopped dead.
Overall I think this has a lot of potential. A lot of it was well written and it was an enjoyable read. You have until Sunday to fix anything (only if you want to though).
Thanks for your entry.
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