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My Love Poem

That one night,
that one night when we were truly together,
that was probably
the sweetest coolest warmest hottest night
of my life
up to that night.
That night your eyes were shining.
Your eyes were glistening!
Your eyes were perfect.
YOU were perfect.
That night you kissed me,
the first kiss I ever had
the best kiss I ever had so far-
that was maybe
the most explosive
mind-blowing
amazing
stupendous
breath-taking
thing I've ever done.
I was so sure-
so very sure-
that you didn't like me
because that kiss seemed to last
just half a millisecond
when i wanted it to last forever.
That kiss lasted just long enough
for me to grasp what was going on:
your lips on my lips touching your lips
which were pressed against mine.
you presenting the idea of us kissing,
That was probably the best suggestion anyone has ever made.
We should do that again.
Maybe this time we can take longer.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • spot49
    February 2, 2009

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    This poem is really good! I hope you can stay this happy with this person for a very long time. Hopefully, you won't get hurt.


    That kiss lasted just long enough
    for me to grasp what was going on:
    your lips on my lips touching your lips
    which were pressed against mine.
    you presenting the idea of us kissing.

    is my favorite part!!!

    good job!!!

  • superl337sauce
    September 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Whoa, you actually know her!

    This was exhilarating to read.

    There is no flowery superfluous elegance, yet I can feel your exuberance like breathing in winter air after eating a mint.

    Ah, you're so good.

    "Keep Writting" xD

    • DoomBubbles
      September 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      know who?

      thank you thank you thank you
      if there's anyone i trust about poems it's you. (yours are lovely. i shall go read them.)

      • superl337sauce
        September 9, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        know Brandy Beans aka Jamaicanqueens


        • Jamaicanqueens
          September 10, 2008
          Edit | Reply

          Brandy Beans Jamaicanqueens

          why were u talking `bout me...and with who?

          • superl337sauce
            September 10, 2008
            Edit | Reply
            I said: "Whoa, you actually know her!"
            She (doombubbles) said: "Know who?"
            I said: "Know Brandy Beans aka Jamaicanqueens."
            Then you asked: "why were u talking 'bout me...and with who?"

            • DoomBubbles
              September 13, 2008
              Edit | Reply

              hmmm

              well i dont know if i know her.
              i maybe know her?


  • Jamaicanqueens
    August 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Keep Writting

    This is a very seducive poem!
    But if u dont mind me asking...have u ever experianced ur first kiss? just so u know...ur noy talking to a stranger...dis is brandy from john e ford. i am one of the twins!
    Much love,
    Peace

    • DoomBubbles
      September 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      john e ford?
      twins?
      sorry i'm sure we know each other and i just cant remember...
      OH WAIT ELEMENTARY SCHOOL?

      anyway yeah, i kissed a girl named kate.

1 - 9 of 9