You put your hands over my eyes,
but I peeped through cracks
in your fingers.
Glass rooms couldn’t protect
rhapsodic eyes and ears-
My dry hands
constantly scrapped at
transparent phenomenon,
as my face made squeaky noises-
sliding down the polished side
of perfection.
I grew sick
of your thick black rims
bumping the bridge of my nose
when you leaned in
for a kiss-
and watching reflections
in rectangle televisions.
The world wasn't so bright
in your eyes.
Author notes
For Teen Idol 9 - Round 6
Prompt: Shut Up And Let Me Go - The Ting Tings
Let me make my own decisions about the world,
shut up and let me go =]
x
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I definitely dig this poem, especially the opening. Great imagery and use of words.
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Very Good
Nice poem. I like the way it starts out simple and the way it becomes more descriptive as the poem continues. I nice touch. Very visual.
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i liked the imagery in the first stanza; a good opening. the image is simple but clever.
some of the phrasing could have been better. "i grew sick" - i think you could have said that better.
you had some great ways to project the image here.
overall, a great poem.
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wow I love this! The first stanza and last two lines are amazing. Good luck with the contest.
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