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Bright-eyed Phenomenon;


You put your hands over my eyes,
but I peeped through cracks
in your fingers.




Glass rooms couldn’t protect
rhapsodic eyes and ears-

My dry hands
constantly scrapped at
transparent phenomenon,

as my face made squeaky noises-
sliding down the polished side
of perfection.




I grew sick
of your thick black rims
bumping the bridge of my nose
when you leaned in
for a kiss-

and watching reflections
in rectangle televisions.

The world wasn't so bright
in your eyes.




Author notes

For Teen Idol 9 - Round 6
Prompt: Shut Up And Let Me Go - The Ting Tings

Let me make my own decisions about the world,
shut up and let me go =]

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Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

  • I definitely dig this poem, especially the opening. Great imagery and use of words.


  • Ryan79
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very Good

    Nice poem. I like the way it starts out simple and the way it becomes more descriptive as the poem continues. I nice touch. Very visual.


  • Tangled Angle
    August 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i liked the imagery in the first stanza; a good opening. the image is simple but clever.
    some of the phrasing could have been better. "i grew sick" - i think you could have said that better.
    you had some great ways to project the image here.
    overall, a great poem.

  • aaaaaaaa
    August 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow I love this! The first stanza and last two lines are amazing. Good luck with the contest.