There once was in an olden day
A group of children scared.
They didn't know that they could play
A man by pulling his beard.1
He yelped and screamed and swore and cursed
That they would soon all see
Just how many lips could be pursed
Until they had to pee.2
"I'll chase you around, I'll shoot you down.
Your parents will never know.
Soon they will all know the sound
Of a story written by Moe."3
The children ran with hair in hand,
Just trying to be free
From a man who was in a marching band
And now had a trick knee.
He limped and hobbled after them,
Screaming incoherently,4
"You brothers and you sisters--blast!--
How come you can't all see?
You've pushed me to my extreme at last
And now I'm the one who has to pee!"
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