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a miracle called life

I miss him
I do
yes you fool
I might be in love with you
I dont know how
and am sure my feelings show
yes it's true
my heart still beats
hearing your name
missing your eyes
your smile
forgiving all your sins
believing in you
even more than you do
I've seen your heart
your soul
even if you don't care
caring for you I prefere
just know am always here
for you any where
any time
any place
for you my heart always has space
life is a miracle itself
and I wish
one day you'll be my miracle
could it be?
Yassmin Elnazer

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  • lake of dremas
    November 21, 2008

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    your title doesnot fit well the poem. you could make it more intresting , you started i miss him , while then you're speaking with the 'you'.. i honestly didn't like it much . plus there are sentences which are long other which are short , it is true that it is free poetry buti didn't like your choice of words.
    you could write something more powerful i am queit sure.
    you could start like that:
    i miss you
    fool
    in love with you
    i don't know how
    surely my feelings show
    it all

    my heart still beats
    to the rhymes of your name
    is it a crime ,is it to blame
    if my thought meets

    you so many time
    miss your eyes
    my herat in cries

    forgiving all your sins
    beleiving in you
    more than you do
    your heart wins

    my love...
    you don't care
    i prefere
    to care for you
    a granted due

    just know i am always here
    for you anywhere, i shall hear
    you calling me anytime anyplace
    for you my heart always has space

    the day you come , i would be reborn
    life is a miracle itself
    but could you be my sweetest miracle?

    i wish you could

    and you could propose for the title 'sweetest miracle.'

    i just want to let you see how you could make it more sweet. i hope you don't mind any critic. the pen is yours but you could do better so try to change it .