Dark my thoughts have been of late
Filled with anger, envy, and hate
Hopeless and lost in this world of death
Where they wear me down to my last breath
Absorbing my soul and taking my future
Feeling trapped in the month of December
Tears fall from my eyes and sear my skin
They seem to absorb into my blood within
I'm stuck in my mind that's roaring like a storm
The blaring makes my brain become torn
My thoughts whizzing and ricocheting against my skull
When it stops, my mind feels numb and dull
I skim, skip,
and scatter
each and
every thought
As I try
to rid myself
of them, I start
to doubt They push
and prod with all
their might Until late
into the moonlit night
When I finally was free from their annoying noise
That was like a set of drums played by boys
I found myself empty- my head hurting badly
I'm glad I'm rid of their company
A contest entry
- write me a web of words. by deadpixie020.
700 points, ended September 11, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
this was interesting.
i liked it
especially the last stanza
My thoughts whizzing and ricocheting against my skull
When it stops, my mind feels numb and dull
---
i liked that part also
best of luck in the contest -
i liked it ...how the headache affects us is beautifully written here..
-
I love the form, especially the fourth stanza.
I also like :
'Tear fall from my eyes and sear my skin
They seem to absorb into my blood within'
at some places the rhyming seems forced though
just my personal opinion.
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