When I would stand and look across the bay,
In Cornwall, filled with childhood memory,
I'd lose myself in water's pure ballet,
The dancing waves that curved around the sea.
The waves would swiftly race up to the shore,
The breezing surf cascading to the land
And when the breakers crashed with such a roar,
I'd feel alive as sunshine kissed the sand.
When peace transcends and everything is calm,
I feel the haunting arc of nature’s quest
And know that in emotion's gentle balm,
The sea will still bring back that sense of rest.
So all the notes that echo in my song,
Begin with nature's breath where they belong.
A contest entry
- ~ Precious Pearls ( Memories of Childhood ) ~ by everyone1.
525 points, ended September 2, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Pure!I like it. It shows great emotion. This was good. Great flow.
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You have met the sailors mistress, she speaks through raging winds, gentle waves and murmuring as it will kiss the shore. The mind free to release thoughts for the gulls to carry and bring back answers that can be held like a pearl sharing wisdom. I find emotion on the waves that are tied together running to the beach. Lovely work, takes me back a few steps in rememberance.
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Promise...sing
As all the notes that echo through her songs
begin with nature's breath, where they belong,
so reader for no other poet longs,
contented by one soft as she is strong.
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a good piece of poetry which flows smoothly along, ah i love the sea though sadly it is far from me - if i ever become rich i will buy a place by the sea
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i always love coming to read your poetry... it makes me smile and especially this one with water's ballet and the arc of nature's quest... beautiful wording.
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TRULY REFRESHING!!!!
What a wonderful memory and you have described it so beautifully!
's
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Sonnets are great for reflecting on the past since the strict adherence to form usually set the reader slightly apart from the subject (in my experience, anyway), and I think you presented memories of your childhood wonderfully here. I'll agree with Prague that some phrases were a bit cliche, but I loved "the haunting arc of nature’s quest," and thought that the poem was beautiful overall. I was reminded forcibly of my trip to England, and this definitely made me want to go back even more.
-CJ
P.S. Thank you so much for commenting on 'Open Book'! I really appreciated it! -
This is a lovely sonnet. Your iambic pentameter is occasionally a little stilted (most notably "water's pure ballet"...very forced!) and "sunshine kissed the sand" is a bit of a cliche, but it's a gorgeous, lyrical, lilting whole and I love your closing couplet.
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It seems to get better. The end is beautiful. Very nice. There are tense issues though. Just so you know. I'm curious to see more.
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I adore poems about the sea and this one is especially good.
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This is simply fabulous! I was even feeling a little jealous
I've never been to Cornwall. I've only seen pictures and read many many stories about the place. The way you describe the emotions makes me feel like jumpin in the Atlantic and swimmin on over. Figure if I start today, I might make it by Christmas.
You are a breath of that salty fresh air I needed today,
Thank you,
jin
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