Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

3 minute 45 second warning (then stir)

See,
       life attacks you
in varying shades of hostility.
 
But
       believe,
   in f r a c t u r e d skyline moments
          you can plainly paint
(if you just squint your eyes)
  a happier horizon
upon the misanthropic sea.
 
I    haven't    the    time
 to participate in a symphony
   of orchestrated delusions
which seem to speak
                                   of thinly veiled lies
sliding from the finger tips of modern man
        as we wed ourselves

                                               to the affluent afterlife.
 
Tell me
               is there anything you would rather be

 

than

         1 part

                    of a working machine
   functioning in synthetic lullabies
to sketch a smile upon the starving faces?
 
It's a struggle when you realize
   the simple plot that's been panned out
      fade to cherried hues of tragedy
           focused into tiny points of light
distracting you through

                                        (video tubes)
and partaking in the late demise
                   of

                         man unkind.
                         (pity me)

 

The world is but a

                                  piping

                                               hot
microwaved version

      of eternity

 

and God's propped up
  catching

                  last night's CSI

   Stirring the seas
and cutting our lives
                                  into

                                         bite

 

                                         sized

 

                                         pieces.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • LadyLavender gold member
    January 12
    Edit | Reply
    amazing, matrix-like yet better -Unveiled!


  • lunarlunacy
    November 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    one of my favs by ya Loki. great write, definetly "Hyper Magical". Congratulations, well deserved and then some.


  • Bean Sidhe silver member
    November 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So, I have read this before & commented previously but for the sake of the contest, I thought it only fair to sit down & figure out why I like this one so much.

    First, and most obviously, I love the layout and format of the poem. It's borderline dirty pretty (without all the bells and whistles of excessive punctuation and pretty symbols).

    Secondly, I do enjoy the fact that you are so inspired by Bad Religion, a band that forces us all to be a bit smarter!

    But my favorite lines by a landslide are:

    "I haven't the time
    to participate in a symphony
    of orchestrated delusions
    which seem to speak
    of thinly veiled lies
    sliding from the finger tips of modern man
    as we wed ourselves

    to the affluent afterlife."

    And the ending, well...as I said in my prior comment, the ending is simply killer!

    Thank you for your entry & good luck

  • Bean Sidhe silver member
    August 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I <3 Bad Religion references.

    I also <3 the visual I have of God chillin in a Laz E Boy, with a microwave meal *shudders* and watching CSI.