They’re tears of crystal
But they fall like glass
Breaking and shattering
Upon blades of grass
The clouds roll over
Blackening my heart
Lots of nothingness
Keeping me from falling apart
The thunder claps
And the lightning sparks
This fire deep inside
Reacts to your remarks
Gusts of winds
Blow me into yesterday
Hail and sleet
Like your words, betray
I look behind
And lose my path
Blown away
In the aftermath
Losing my mind
I’ve got nothing left to find
Losing my mind
I feel so confined
Losing my mind
I cannot break this bind
Losing my mind
Losing my mind
A contest entry
- My 30th Contest! Your Best Pre-write Ever! by Salt Therapy.
300 points, ended August 14, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - write me a web of words. by deadpixie020.
700 points, ended September 11, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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"... Losing my mind, I've got nothing left to find..."
I know how that goes. Great piece you have here. Thanks for sharing <3 -
ooh this is nice
my favourite part was:
They’re tears of crystal
But they fall like glass
Breaking and shattering
Upon blades of grass
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its pretty
goodluck in the contest.
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Wow this is amazing =D I really enjoyed reading this love the flow and the rhyming wow :] great job this is very intresting I would publish this
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Losing my mind
I’ve got nothing left to find
Losing my mind
I feel so confined
Losing my mind
I cannot break this bind
Losing my mind
Losing my mind
very freaking powerful
intense
incredible
love it
thanks for entering and good luck. ~ Kerri -
this could be a song it's so beautiful.
I look behind
And lose my path
Blown away
In the aftermath
I love that stanza, the rhyme & flow are amazing. -
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Thank you so much for the comment. =]
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~Sarah
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"Losing my mind" i can hear it in my head like an ecco. Good depresing poem. I think the first line is good tho. I like the way the tears are described. I just like it all really.
XkX
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Yeah I always wanted to parallel feelings to a storm but I've never done it as well as in this one. Thanks for the comment. =]
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this is brilliant and so well worded! I'm completely in awe at your rhyme scheme, it's amazing. Good luck in the contest!!!
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Thank you for your kind comment!
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