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A Red, Red Nose*

My love is like a red, red nose
     With pollen counts in June.
My love is like a melody:
     A nagging, constant tune.

However fair you are, sweet lass,
     So deep in debt am I:
But I will buy you stuff, my dear,
     Till stores my cards deny.

Till stores my cards deny, my dear,
     With balance overrun.
But I will get you more, my dear,
     By smiles or wiles or gun.

Farewell, my jewel encrusted love,
     For just a little while.
It’s not much time to do, my love,

     Though prison tends to cramp my style.

Author notes

*"A Red, Red Rose" by Robert Burns is the lovely poem victimized by this asinine parody. My apologies to all admirers of his verse.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • heismysong
    November 20, 2008

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    I

    With class and cackles, with grace and guffaws, THIS was a fin poem to read!

  • Hovels 2
    August 12, 2008
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    The contest has ended and we (Dark and I) are now judging. Best of luck and thanks so much for entering.


  • Darkwell
    August 4, 2008

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    thank you for entering this is such a sophisticatled twisting of the original that it made me LOL

    the twist flows so good and its so funny about the credit card an jail the match to the original is excellent and captures the rhythm of it perfect in your twister

    I second the motion on all twisty points given except rulez. the rulez clearly state that the original poem must be shown below the twisted version and credited to the original author. Rule follow twistys will remain in Sweaters drawer until full compliance is met. No Angry bunnies will be sent for your shoes at this time

    WTG! Good luck in the contest


    • Peripatetic gold member
      August 4, 2008
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      I just couldn't bring myself to put Burns' beloved poem on the same page as my lame version. If this means I have to sacrifice my shoes to the angry, rabid bunnies, then barefoot I shall go. I will deserve all the stickers and stone bruises I get.


      • Darkwell
        August 4, 2008
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        your shoes are safe but its awesome to walk barefoot you should do that alot anyway

        • Peripatetic gold member
          August 4, 2008

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          When - like Billy Joel sings - I wore a younger man's clothes, I often left his shoes at home or hanging from their laces at my neck or waist. But I had a younger man's feet then.

  • Hovels 2
    August 4, 2008

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    Is this the poem? I want to make sure. I don't want to be judging your poem on the wrong original. http://quotations.about.com/cs/poemlyrics/a/A_Red_Red_Rose.htm

    Haha, I LOVE THIS POEM! Instead of you turning the original into something twisted, you turned it into something funny. It's funny because its true. It's something someone (hell, me) would do in that situation. Love makes you do some silly things, along with some twisted things. You really did take this contest to a whole new level. On top of that, you kept almost exactly the same form, as the original. You really did a good job at remaking it. Your version is more down to earth than the other one, basically.

    Twisty points
    - For following the rules, exactly.
    - For using the same form as the original.
    - For making it funny. Instead of twisted.
    - For taking a slightly different approach to the contest.


    • Peripatetic gold member
      August 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I am a fan of Burns, and I'm a little ashamed that my first homage to his artistry is this silly parody of one of his fine romantic verses. I can follow his style for rhyme and meter, but not the beautiful Highland vernacular.
      I am very much a straight arrow, linear in my thinking and straightforward in my imagination. Twisted is kind of a stretch for me. A little bit of a skew is about all I can do.
      Darkwell has been such a supporter of my efforts, that I wanted to contribute something to the contest. I hope she likes it at least a little even if it's not very twisted.

      • Hovels 2
        August 4, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        I'm sure that she will. She better. It was a pretty good read or is it write? Or both? Ha, I don't know. It was a pretty good everything.

1 - 11 of 11