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Virtue's Dream

 

White taffeta waits

chaste upon antique chaise

 

Clinging closely to virtue

she ventures dreams

                  of fulfillment

 

Fleshly thoughts

often branched within

this barren wasteland

of desire

 

Yet she fortifies

           her femininity

with tightly bound morality

 

Leaves dry brittle before time

as she awaits

                undying ardor

 

from a heart not hurrying

in quick conquest

 

Praying love lingers

longer than fleeting glances

given her beauty

 

Surrender only will she

when a soul mate

makes his presence known

 

and together

that which is craved for

will culminate

in spirits entwined

                   for eternity

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt: Pic
http://i290.photobucket.com/albums/ll272/Temptress41/Dark/gothicphotos132_20070402_1289554140.jpg

(thanks for letting me back in the contest after I accidently deleted my entry!! lol)

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Comments

1 - 40 of 40

  • Lady Michaella
    January 31

    Edit | Reply
    wow.. this is excellent. a really beautiful yet sad yet wonderful write. i love where the whole poem led to, a really beautiful concept and poem. a great job here

    -Lemon Bee-
    x


  • penman gold member
    September 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    What a terrific creation. Congrats on the honorable mention.


  • Michael
    September 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful poem. So beautiful and it flows so nicely. It really does have good imagry there. Excellent Job. And congradulations on winning.


  • worshipchick
    August 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow- you grabbed me with the first two lines (brilliant :-) ) and kept me until the end. Great tie in with the picture, and what a great take on an origianl idea. I love the 5th stanza especially. Awesome write. :-)


  • Valley Girl silver member
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love this hun! I love your last stanza "and together
    that which is craved for will culminate in spirits entwined for eternity" Beautiful and magical!
    Thanks for sharing this with us! ♥


  • Aussie Gypsy gold member
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Such a beautifully hope filled dream you have portrayed in words here, you have captured what all of us wish to fulfill. Well done


  • Age of Rain
    August 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "White taffeta waits
    chaste upon antique chaise"

    Brilliantly phrased. This was so perfect to the prompt, capturing everything from her adornments to her pose. I loved this!


  • PrInCeSsOfRoCk gold member
    August 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    that is so awesome. you really captured the picture with your words. interesting story that you came up with from the prompt, but thought it was really great. wish i could write something worth reading at the moment.

    keeping rocking on


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    August 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I did I swear I did comment on this. ARGHH!!!!

    I absolutely love this poem, so very much. I however don't think that this poem sucks like you seem to think it does. you've captured this picture with your words. you've taken a dark picture, and made it beautiful. You've got talent and you shine with this poem.

    the imagery throughout this poem is outstanding. I personally love the last 2 stanzas. excellent job with this.

    you're welcome..

    good luck in the contest


    kat



  • notorious gold member
    August 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent...buahahaha

    I can't say the word 'excellent' w/o thinking of Mr. Burns or Dickwad AP Man.



    But I do mean it!

    "White taffeta waits/chaste upon antique chaise"
    Lots of description there...
    Whereas you could've written something moronic like, "The girl in the white dress had never been laid."

    But what you wrote was so much better! (Of course). Aren't I crude? 'chaste' is SUCH a good word...makes me think of geishas who don't sleep with men but tease the frilly heck out of them, or virginal girls about to lose their virginity.

    Tres interesting...

    "Clinging closely to virtue"
    Psssh!!!
    LoL...good line though.

    "this barren wasteland of desire"
    'barren' is a good word in this context and 'wasteland' has such vivid imagery.

    "fortifies her femininity"
    Nice alliteration done here...'fortifies' makes me think of vitamins & improvement... Health nerd...

    "Leaves dry brittle before time"
    Man, why are leaves so evocative and imagery-infused? Well, it works here.

    'eternity' was a good ending note for this.

    Was this written for a contest but you didn't make it on time? Or did you find the pic & end up writing about this? Or...something else I haven't mentioned yet?

    Damn, this was a long comment... & typed w/o using the 'F-word'...kudos to me.

    & to you, for writing this.


    Dr. Red Pill


    • kiwigirljacks gold member
      August 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      It was written for a contest and I accidently removed it from the contest... long story lol


  • playjazz67
    August 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This does cause an ache---a great take on the prompt. Thanks for entering the contest Jim


  • crimsondew
    August 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful poem on longing for right love...sounds so right!Beautiful alliteration and imagery!

    All the best in the contest dear!


  • Mallig gold member
    August 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Drips with longing, a beautifully written portrait of a hopeless hopeful romantic! Best of luck!


  • faderman1959
    August 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing picture and take on it with your poem! The eternal search for ones soul mate is something we all can relate to! Sadly beautiful or beautifully sad, depending how you look I it I guess. Excellent!


  • plainoljoe
    August 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Let not the longing turn to despair. For this fair maiden and for you as well, the one you wait for is closer than you think


    Joe


  • Carolina Moon gold member
    August 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh Sis, this is awesome..(applauds you) your muse is still kickin it I see Best of luck!


  • runewalker
    August 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    oh, hands. i keep forgetting that part

  • runewalker
    August 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    J. this is lovely, and wistful. The stream warms and chills. has a deep sigh within it.

    however: "Clinging closely to virtue..."

    I hate it when women do that....

    also, how the hell do these women in this pictures you guys keep posting walk in these long ass dresses?


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    August 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow auntie what a stunning and beautiful take on the picture. the power behind each word really adds such ife and depth to the picture.


  • Amera gold member
    August 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful! You have captured the innocence of femininity and the feeling of desire. I love it when the poem is more beautiful than the picture. Bravo!

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • LadyDementia gold member
    August 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Quite a haunting piece, stunning show of emotions. A fantastic read hunni, goes well with the picture and so not blah!! So no changing! Or deleting! Good luck but you should need it with this gorgeous poem


  • arafura gold member
    August 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Exceptional! You are amazing.


  • Lady Australis silver member
    August 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    amazlyl written autie
    as always
    i love you


  • rbruce gold member
    August 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a wonderful poem. I wish I could write like this to a prompt, but I've said that before. Another great job well done.Good luck.


  • Justinintendo
    August 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wowser...what an amazing poem...and I totally love the use of french...one of my favorite languages...glad to see you're still writing...damn, wish I could enter this contest...I might...if there's still room...Great right and good luck in the contest!

    Enjoyed the Read,
    Justin


  • ShadowsMidnightRose
    August 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Damn...Beautiful

    I adore what you have penned, and it fits perfectly with the prompt you were given....

    This defifently tops my entry....well done and good luck..


  • Cannonsfire
    August 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    lol well for you this is actually very soft so maybe your dark muse has gone on vacation. Although it is sad it still has the haunting sweetness in it, but blah it certainly is NOT! Love, C

  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    August 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    http://i290.photobucket.com/albums/ll272/Temptress41/Dark/gothicphotos132_20070402_1289554140.jpg

    here is the link for your prompt. if you don't like it let me know. you have one more chance



    • kiwigirljacks gold member
      August 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I'll take that thanks

      Not sure I'll go too dark with it... maybe a bit sensual LMAO!


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    August 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    what u want??? u want me to pick??


    • kiwigirljacks gold member
      August 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Oooo eep sorry! I forgot I'm supposed to say

      You pic, as long as it isn't gruesome dark lol


  • Cannonsfire
    August 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I'm anxious to see your words

1 - 40 of 40