Laying here,
The bite stinging,
Waiting for the change-
Seeing it,
Her crimson blood,
Splattered across the
gray pavement,
I guess she put up a fight,
Fighting was a waste,
One blink and it was over-
Seeing him,
A very disturbing picture-
On hands and knees,
Lapping at her blood,
Laying there,
Dying,
Her white dress tattered,
Stained with blood,
How was she supposed to know
that she was marrying a
vampire?
Author notes
I used option 2
A contest entry
- The Wordbank Compels You. . . . by iamlost.
600 points, ended August 6, 2008, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me your best! by Forgotten Anomaly.
1000 points, ended November 10, 2008, 63 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ghosts, Ghouls and Spooky Tales - Ages 13 to 17 by The Fun House.
400 points, ended November 18, 2008, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round contest number one (prewrite) by serenity silvermoon.
510 points, ended September 25, 111 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Originality: (7/10)
Emotion: (5/10)
Poetic devices: (13/20)
Structure/flow: (7/10)
Cohension: (7/10)
Title relating to poem: (9/10)
Personal opinion: (6/10)
Syntax: (6/10)
Diction: (6/10)
Total:66 -
Originality: (6/10)
Emotion: (5/10)
Poetic devices: (15/20)
Structure/flow: (7/10)
Cohension: (6/10)
Title relating to poem: (9/10)
Personal opinion: (6/10)
Syntax: (6/10)
Diction: (6/10)
Total: (66/100) -
A most wonderful entry. This was extremely well done and kept me reading... Brilliant, i loved it and so perfect for halloween. Well done.
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Never merry a vampire... isn't that kinda obvious? I love the poem, very short yet it tells a wonderfully vivid story. Thank you for enterig my contest!
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Yup, this is a vampire poem alright lol Very descriptive. I like the ending of it. Very nice job on this.
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OOO, I love the story you've given me with this poem! An amazing write, all the words are used so well; they don't stick out to me as being forced at all. Best of luck in the contest!
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Nicee
Awesome! =]
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thanks!!!!!!
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HAHA!
oh wow.a vampire marrige.i love that!
ps.wats option 2?
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it was for a contest using a word bank...i used word bank option 2.....oh and ty for likeing it.
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hehe.no problem.
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