It is beauty; the brevity of those
waves carefully placed along
the shore, that leaves me longing even more
for a peace that cannot be.
I can see among those streams of bliss,
in that passing mist, a will-o-wisp
that sings for me to stay; as it disappears
among those strays of light,
in a sunrise, of which, I have agreed
with. So I comply nestled here upon this
pier which slowly sways ~to her song~.
Wondering if it would be wrong to stay?
Now the river lines with waves of light,
as a rain which slowly dotes the eyes
in gentle repetition. Yet as those beads
begin to pass, it becomes “A disposition
which cannot last,”
as this new beginning fades away.
And I am left with the passing dawn
and the silent chords who play yet on,
lost among its’ brevity,
longing for more.
Author notes
It is...Everything, and nothing in between.
A.S.
A contest entry
- BEAUTY by Swan song.
450 points, ended August 23, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Very good and very true
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Outstanding
This is a great poem full of great imagery and a sense of longing. I liked the tone of the poem -you have your own unique style and it is very soothing. I liked the over-all effect and the way that you developed the theme but it was the imagery that really stood out. A well-written poem.
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*as this new beginning trails away.
So I remain as I have before;
lost among its’ brevity,
longing for more.*
I read this out loud. It's awesome! I am particularly taken with this last piece.
Thank you for sharing it with us. -
A wonderful piece of work written in a style so much different than the norm. It had a slumbering effect to it. A sleepy touch that left me seeing the waves gently caressing the shores. I was very moved by the way you used these words to describe such a wonderful scene. Good writing.
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Beautiful imagery of the waves and streams of bliss. Your imagery really guides me to a peaceful place. You have such a lovely style of writing!
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Wonderful, well-crafted and intelligently presented, I enjoyed this thoroughly. I look forward to reading more of your work.
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Beautiful, as always. Astounded me again with your elegant vocabulary and original thoughts. Great job hun.
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Argh! Me again. I tried to applaud the poem before, but it wouldn't let me, so please excuse this small addendum.
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My first impression of the poem is that the rhyme scheme is very odd, yet I like it, despite that. I like what you're saying with the poem, and I like the imagery, especially that you don't go overboard trying to string exotic words together to get it. So, I think it's good and very pleasant.
Still Anonymous -
the brevity of
waves that are carefully placed along
this shore, leaving me longing for
a peace that cannot be, even more.
love it.
imagery is gorgeous. -
different style here, don't know if it has a name. I felt a rhyming pressence but it was midlined at places. No matter, it is a nicely done piece. Pen on...~Poo~
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