Straw
could tell of
paper daisy faces in autumn;
woodwind chimesticks
fired the finery of his eye
in clay rhyme.
Friendship was their truth
in a brown faced ocean -
even the sea that had sweated
and slicked her complicated bones.
Author notes
The title is a line from 'The Good-Morrow' by John Donne.
A contest entry
- ...of clay and bone by zochit2me.
1850 points, ended August 23, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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This has the flavor of a "21st century" version of the Donne poem, in a more abstract way. Also seems to echo a main theme of _The Outsiders_. "Friendship was their truth" is the line that holds the whole poem together, intensifying the title. In its own way, "clear, forceful, and elegant"! :-)
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Wow
Wonderful imagery here from oceans straw and faces...
I love the line slicked her complicated bones...
I do think it could benefit from the breaks in the lines statigically placed in order to allow the reader to pause and absorb better the poem as a whole unit...but certain still a wonderful entry.
♥Becky♥
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