~
Can today.
You have to
approach counterclockwise; the red
caramel god
with
near-triple digit
rosary beads behind the fret band.
Drop real money
into the jingle clink
and clunk -
clutch the meaty emerald
transparence;
pry off serrated cold storage,
begin the ascent
raising fog throated praise
from desiccated lips..
The only way
to full bouquet.
“The Real Thing”
~
Author notes
prompt chosen:
glass bottles
A contest entry
- PIF Contest /Word Prompt by Rowan.
800 points, ended August 18, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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You really are fantastic at alliteration. I love action words like 'clunk'and 'clink', snaps the tongue into action.
Wonderful take on bottles.
Thanks for entering hon.
Oh, and cheers!
clink.
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Thank you Kathleen. You're a gem.
Paul
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Wonderful imagery...
I like the 'raising fog throated praise,' which is exactly what it causes. There is no drink the same as it gurgles down thirsty channels.
I like your poem and the way you have used vivid vocab to give life to old images. The vivid descriptions really hold the essence of a bloody good Coke in a bloody good poem.
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Things go better with. I believe that.
I remember sneaking to the top step of the basement ladder. Where was kept a cool refreshing one of Fathers. He could never drink the whole thing. Yum how good and cold and deliciously stolen that brown brew tasted. Ah, sweet memory. How I miss those bottles, shaped to fit the hand...even of us little uns.
I enjoyed the read. Loved the sound effects. And "fog throated praise" yeah, that's it, that's what it was, you bet.
Good luck in the contest.
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Thank you for reading daggle dupe! HAHAHAHA! I like the name!
Paul
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Slip the coins in
hear their sweet fall
push the right button
remove smooth coldness
lift to hook provided
snap the oh so treasured cap
tip the head back
as the savory taste
glides down smoothly
sounds like a good drink to me.
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Thank you Riftkin. What a great response poem too. Did you write that on the fly or was that in your archive?
Paul -
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on the fly.. as it came to me reading yours
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forgot the clappies
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Nothing like the real thing, and I'm old enough to remember coke or other soft drinks in glass bottles. You took me way back with this one!
~ Nicolette
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Thank you Nicolete. Glass bottles bring back fond memories. I think the world would be a better place environmentally if we went back to them.
Paul
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"Coke" would love this. I remember these machines - days younger, and times simpler.
Excellent piece verging on the abstract and balancing on nostalgia. Well done. ~Pamela 
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I took a sip of my son's Coke in this sweltering heat and wondered why it seems to taste so much better when the conditions are right - the hot weather, the thick green glass, that hefty feel in the hand, the matal cap - then I felt that old familiar feeling that a poem was about to emerge...
Thank you Pam,
Paul
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This is pretty good! It's one of those poems that makes you say: "I get it!". But now I'm thirsty.
Love,
Amera♥
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Thank you Amera. I'm so glad you get it that I'd like to buy the world one of these.
Paul
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I love all the sounds in this poem. Well done...very creative
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Thank you Tara. I mix my own herbal iced tea combos too and save the snapple bottles to put it in. Bottles are better.
Paul
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