It all began when a single valve dripped;
The disabled alarm could not be tripped.
Safety issues for the oil giant
Were ignored. They were non-compliant.
Who cares about the strong gasoline smell?
The safety inspectors can go to hell.
In the middle of that hot Texas night
Straight benzene pooled up and would soon ignite.
A spark. A bright flash. A conflagration.
And, twenty-nine men died. Incineration.
Flesh stripped from bone by the force of the blast.
Utterly consumed, eight men breathed their last.
Hair afire, tendrils of red-orange flame.
Fire exits locked in management’s name.
One man escaped from the firey hell;
Mind burned to madness; no story to tell.
Sightless, in a psyche ward on Old Route Five
Reliving that night that he burned alive.
Skin melted like wax, a disfigured face;
White sightless eyes stare off into space.
Twenty–nine men lie in unquiet graves
Marked with name of dead industrial slaves.
The refinery’s gone. It had to go.
Just across the border in Mexico
Is a new monument to Big Oil greed
With underpaid workers’ to fill the need.
Author notes
Prompt 1: Song tite - Inside the Fire.
A contest entry
- Calling All of Those Who Are DISTURBED by Re-invention.
600 points, ended September 18, 2008, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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wow disturbing and raw indeed, just like my co-judger said. Indeed this is a complete piece because it took a different take on the title and made it a masterpiece. the rhyming as always , amazing but indeed you must be careful with puctuation, it damages the feeling of the poem. But indeed the feeling came to me
so no worries.
This is an exquisite job, The effects, the power you took over the victims, almost made it seem Almighty..
thank you for entering~! -
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I am glad you enjoyed the poem. The picture and the title gave me the inspiration.
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A very vivid, gruesome story to tell. You have written this extremely well with an immense knowledge of the occurrences (which I must congratulate you, you used past experiences and merged them all into this descriptive tale). You used fairly well verbiage; definitely painted a picture for us to see. I must say you used the title quite literal, which is one of the reasons why I truly like this piece; definitely disturbing.
You gave amazing detail, and even went as far as moving on to life after the fire and insinuated what was to happen after. Truly a complete piece. The format was great;it moved from one level of the story to the other. The rhyming was absolutely perfect, it was flowing and graceful. The only thing I have to mention for you to watch is how you line your stanzas. I like how you broke up lines with periods and capitals but a few times the breaking up of a sentence right in the middle diminished the effect of the intended statement as a whole. I tend to have a lot of problem with that myself. Other than that, a very well told tale. Good luck in the contest.
Fresa Salvaje
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I am glad you enjoyed the poem. Thank you for reading and commenting.
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Oh. This is an interesting poem that you have written in here. It is kind of dark but I think it's a good poem about politics and society too. I think in its own way it tells the truth about things that go on that no one wants to hear about. I thought you did a good job of telling their story.
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It is dark. It is about profit and greed. I see it all the time. I am glad you enjoyed it.
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Wow... I really like this...It's definately descriptive alright. This really isn't real? This poem actually makes me wonder if the author remembers situations so clearly... or maybe not clearly at all...
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I am glad you liked my poem. I appreciate you taking the time to read it. It is not based on fact. The inspiration comes from a melange of many different events including my experience as a safety officer and fire fighter and real life several disasters including the industrial fires at BP Gas, the Mann Gulch Fire, and the Triangle Shirt Waist Fire.
Mike
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Wow! What a descriptive word picture you paint!
Terrific! -
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Thank you very much for reading and commenting. It is a subject related to what I do for a living.
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Interesting. Your rhyme scheme was tight, and this is a great tale that needed to be told, I guess. I'm wondering what happened next. I used to live oil field country down in Texas. Ugly, smelly place, and things like this happen there all the time.
I like the way you presented it, as if you were singing it.
Best wishes, and blessings always,
jin
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This poem is made up. If it seemed real it is because I used to be a fire fighter and I am a safety consultant. I am glad you found the poem interesting. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Mike
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WOW!! Nice In your face words, what a good warning this Is ( puts out all smokes )
All the best In the contest
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Most of my clients do not look at safety in this manner. Companies engaged in these practices generally do not hire me. But, you still find this type of attitude out there from time to time.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
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In the middle of that hot Texas night
Straight benzene pooled up and would soon ignite.
A spark. A bright flash. A conflagration.
And, twenty-nine men died. Incineration.
awesome flow & rhyme
i loved the imagery
i was drawn into the story
great job
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I am glad you enjoyed the poem. I am a safety officer and I am sick of paying high gas prices. This is the result.
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