Don't take advice on how to make love from a hooker, if she knew she'd be a wife.
Well, no, it doesn't work because if she don't know there's no truth in life.
Don't take advice on how to make love from a nun, if she knew she'd be a hooker.
Well, maybe, the simple things in life come from the pure at heart, just book her.
Don't take advice on how to make love from a traffic warden, if she knew she'd join the police.
Well, maybe, such a move might open up horizons getting for her (and us?) lots of release.
Do you have to be spooney or looney to be like Andy Rooney?
The pontification is powerful but I just don't find him fooney.
But, then, neither am I.
Author notes
We don't get Andy Rooney over here - is this a blessing in disguise?
A contest entry
- PIF for the peg legged pirates who have a taste for chocolate/Andy Rooney was a common tater by malmadre.
1000 points, ended August 16, 2008, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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One of America's Most Loveable Dufuses
Pronounced DEW-fuss. I'm sure there's an English equivalent for that... somethng much tamer like "Merry Andrew" or something. Anyway, he's a highly paid professional dunce. At least there's hope for your fooneyness.
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I seem to have hit the spot with this one. Never heard of an Andyrooney here in UK so pulled him up on't web. Read two or three printings of his words and then had a look at a video of the ancient pedagogue. Mmmm!!! How do these oddballs get their money, position, adulation? Do people with brains actually LIKE him? Anyway - the only equivalent to dufus (N American word) is a dimwit - seems about right.
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HEHE... OH my GOODness!
What a rant and so cleverly penned, aye, a true pirate inspired poem here, with all kinds of madness built in. 
lol
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Very funny! I read that Andy boasted of being banned in Russia or something to that effect, so it could be a blessing in disguise that you don't get him where you are.
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