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"Unaware that I'm Tearing You Asunder"

Bulmia is scratching at my heels
Beg..ging
Beg..ging
                  like a dog aching for a bone.

im losing inches off my hips
im losing gallons off my thighs

its almost as if ill split down the
center and come out
a
shadow
            of my former self.

Sloughing off emotions like a batter
in    a    Ba    tt    ing    cage

"Doesn't hurt me,
you wanna feel how it feels?
Do you wanna know, know that it
doesnt hurt me?.."

      But it does

"Baby does it hurt?"

Only like you know how to
                                make it
                                H.U.R.T


.Tremendously.

                                This frantic
feeling im experiencing,,

                                its like nothing
will ever be the same...

I shed the pounds
Hoping  for  a  spark  of  memory
to  slip  from  your  eyes

                                                                                    maybe you'll
                                                    think you caused this change

                                                              &&come racing
                                              back into the arms
                    you turned away....once

                       
         

Author notes

my title and some of the quotes are from
Placebo' "running up that hill"

(i love that song)
:]

im feeling this,, really feeling this.

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • apples fell
    August 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    I hope that you do not have a general eating disorder, but if you do, I hear ya. I suffered from anorexia for almost eight years of my life and was in and out of the hospital because of it. For this very reason, I can't critique this poem. I did think that the ending was somewhat weak, but I also understand that sometimes a poem just, is a poem. There doesn't need to be any great tie-ups or completely relevant ends. It's just what we feel and because of that, I think you have written yourself down as best you could. I love the first part of the poem though and how you use imagery in a unique manner. What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger.

    ;


    • Crash Into Me
      August 16, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      im sorry if this brought back some painful memories. im aware of how hard this can hit you if youve been here before,, and we can probably relate to each other a bit more than we already do ((sometimes i think you can read my mind )).
      i dont mind that you cant critque this,,
      the words that you offered on my page and just that you continued to read it despite what you have been threw touches me more than any critique could have.

      im glad to call you a friend.
      because you are the BEST of any of the "real" friends i have.

      thank you james.
      ♥ ♥
      [[alexsis]]

      -your minx.


      • apples fell
        August 16, 2008

        Edit | Reply

        I knew you wouldn't mind that I couldn't critique it. I find myself often forgetting to do that when a piece just hits me and I know the words, like they were my own. You are a great friend to me and I have known you for quite awhile...Longer than most friends I know who are close enough to touch. Yes, you are a true joy in my life and one that I always try to connect with, when we are both around. You are very welcome love. I wouldn't say things in my comments, if I didn't mean them.

        ;

1 - 5 of 5