Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Stippled Elegance

Missing image


Canvas textures tremble

beneath timorous fingertips,
long sable poised.
Elegant eyes absorb

relish linear perspective,
surrendering...
to tranquil wonders.

Seams of silk rotate

upon a velveteen breeze,
aspirations threaded gold.

Naked shades await

stirrings...
chromatic colour,
yearns portraiture
depiction.

Pulsating beneath breast

heart quivers deeply,
hunger aches...
endlessly within.

Tentative tongues linger
upon moist lips,
as first tones emerge.

Inspirational segments arch,
enticing artistry
with alluring beauty.
Yield to natural glides

embracing
familiar scents...

 

Sultry forms take shape.

Caressing seductive skin,
moist pigments stroke

lending blush
to delicate curves.

Reaching peaks
of textured
perfection...


Glazed in sensual light.

 

Author notes

Picture Credit: To Paint by =LadyEdana

For the poetic challenge, finals.
Ok my sensual piece. I am hoping it isn't cliché, I did an awful lot of reading etc and didn't see anything else like it. Doing no form or rhyme was soooo hard, when I finished writing it had fallen into a formed look so changed it a lot to make it more free flowing...I hope..lol. I found a picture (above) that inspired me as I am trying my hand at digital art and would love to branch into traditional art. I thought anything artistic could be sensual so figured it made a good combination. I did a bit of research into artist terms to try and in cooperate them. I tried to capture the passion the artist has for bringing out the beauty in things, how they feel as they create something from nothing so to speak.

Long sable = type of artist brush.
linear perspective = how artist see things.
portraiture depiction = how an artist views the subject.


This has been an exceptional challenge to take part in, not only have you as judges excelled with critiques and help but also with pushing us beyond our 'limits' You've certainly had me thinking more outside the box than in it. I have written things I never thought possible, and looked at themes I would never have looked at before. Sensual was a very hard one for me, but I over came my fear of it and really enjoyed writing this one. I have done a lot of firsts in this challenge, First abstract, first collab (which was awesome...if anyone wants to do one!), first form and first sensual. I have expanded vocabulary without even realising until I wrote this..lol. I hadn't been writing very long when I began the first stage of this, so was very much the newbie. I feel this challenge has helped me to spread my little wings and prevented me from getting 'stuck in my ways'. It was nerve wracking stepping out of my comfort zone the first time but I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would and found myself looking forward to the next step. If I had not entered I would still very much be in the darkness and wouldn't have penned any of the lighter writes I have done over the months as I didn't think I could do it. So I am very pleased I took part. I never thought in a million years I would reach the finals. It has been great meeting and working with new people to and the biggest thing is how it has kept me occupied at a difficult time in my life. I have really enjoyed it and if I win it will be a bonus, but to me the best part has been the journey. So thank you both for your time and hard work in making this so much fun....and I didn't think I'd know what to say here..lol.

As far as judging goes, it has been to the highest standard. The system works very well IMHO, it is fair and covers everything that should be covered. If I could change one thing it would be the public vote, I thought voting was interesting and made it much more of a challenge but I really wasn't keen on it being made public...that could be as I turned out be the only one who actually voted publicly, not quite sure why...lol. But other than that to me the challenge has been excellent in every aspect.

I would like to thank Kiwigirljacks also, for helping me keep focused for this write, with the trial starting tomorrow I found it extremely hard to keep my mind focused on one thing...but she sat over me till it was finished...thanks hunni!

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 31 of 31

  • Swan song gold member
    August 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i LOVED THIS POEM Well done dear exellent write


  • notorious gold member
    August 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Isn't Jacks' awesome?
    Now your poem...

    "Canvas textures tremble
    beneath timorous fingertips,
    long sable poised."
    I think weaving artistry & sensual is a good choice indeed--it makes it more classy & less ew, clean-your-underwear. Honestly, w/o your AN & you telling me it was sensual, I would've just thought it was about art!! 'timorous' is a great word I've never used & 'poised' for a paintbrush...well, I think that's VERY suitable because it's readying to make art, right?

    "Elegant eyes absorb
    relish linear perspective,
    surrendering..."<--I don't think you need the ellipsis here, but the italicization works well

    "to tranquil wonders."
    I think it would be EVEN cooler w/o this line because it makes the reader wonder WHAT the person it being surrendered to, right?

    "Seams of silk rotate
    upon a velveteen breeze,"
    'velveteen' is such a kick-ass word! Makes me think of The Velveteen Rabbit.


    "Naked shades await
    stirrings..."
    Okay, maybe this is dirty.
    I think you should replace the ellipsis with a dash (-) instead.

    "chromatic colour,"
    'chromatic' is a VERY cool word...musical term, which goes well with artistry.

    "yearns portraiture
    depiction."
    Love the word 'portraiture', & pairing it with 'depiction' was good diction Pink!!

    "Pulsating beneath breast
    heart quivers deeply,
    hunger aches..."
    Again, I don't think you need an ellipsis here.

    "endlessly within."
    'within' is such a magical word.

    "Tentative tongues linger
    upon moist lips,
    as first tones emerge."
    Wow--"first tones emerge" works VERY well with the art theme...and yes, this is sexual...*coughs* I mean sensual.

    "Inspirational segments arch,"
    I think this maybe could be "Inspiration's segments arch" with a possessive form.

    "moist pigments stroke"
    "moist pigments" is artsy & 'stroke' is sensual. Good balance achieved.

    "of textured
    perfection..."
    'textured'...love! But lose the ellipsis!!
    I think maybe you thought the ellipsis would make a dreamer, more sensual feel, but your words are STRONG ENOUGH ON THEIR OWN!! Honest to God!!

    'glazed' is another one that supports the artsy feel.

    ,
    Jessica


    • LadyDementia gold member
      August 21, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      Hehe yes there are a few ... LMAO. I read so many before writing this (won't read sensual as a rule, unless its kiwi) and they all had them so thought it would help it look the part...can a poem look sensual? Well I thought so...lol. Thanks for the wicked comment hunni, and so glad I avioded 'ew, clean-your-underwear'. You crack me up girl!


  • Ktulu Blackwolfe silver member
    August 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Caressing seductive skin,
    moist pigments stroke

    lending blush
    to delicate curves.

    I am in awe of this piece. It is not what I am used to reading from you and with writes such as this, it is no wonder you won the championship. I have taken part it Mels challenge and also helped to judge it as well. I know how challenging it can be on the muse.

    **Ktulu Blackwolfe**


  • PastelMoons gold member
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I am really impressed with
    this piece. Flawless!
    It glides across the mind
    and off the tounge--
    soft, sensual and eloquent!
    You really surpassed yourself,
    and that is what we all strive for
    so I offer my most sincere
    and well deserved praise!!!!
    Congrats!!!!!
    You should be proud
    of this work-
    I am!!!

    ~Pastel


  • Fritz O skennick gold member
    August 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    And you told me you couldn't write free-verse. This is divine...

    You've been holding out on me...
    Soft, tender & sensual...
    Alluring with its narrative & metaphoric descriptions that make for a compelling read...
    Well done!!!


  • luckynsincere
    August 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    oh yeah... by the way.. nice job on selecting your image. Very inspiring!


  • luckynsincere
    August 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Dang! You really impressed me. All of the entries for the finals have been remarkable, and this is no exception. Your poem... ahhh.. and to think you are so nervous about writing sensual. It does not show... actually it is as if this is what you were intended to write!

    To me, when we first challenged you to writing sensual, it was stiff and quite forced, but this time you relaxed... let it flow with grace. I love it! I was impressed that your wording was so fulfilling. There are a few words I would have reconsidered such as: sultry, sensual & seductive. Not that they are out of place, I felt you could have been a little more creative with that... but... hunny, this is no lie: YOU ROCKED THIS!

    BY FAR, this is your best poem I have ever read.

    Now for your authors notes: I appreciate your honesty. Actually I do those for the sole purpose of seeing who is interested in the challenge. This is what causes a lot of drama, and was impressed that you handled it with complete elegance. The first challenge I was ever in required that, and i was awed to see that some of the contestants had actually plotted against me and another poet. I was saved by the fairness and wide opened eyes of the judge! Which is why I hold them to see who can be trusted in the challenge and not be personal! I do hate however that you were pushed out on that limb when voting. I have never intended that to happen. But, you did a fabulous job!

    I am glad that you have expanded your talents through this challenge, and we have enjoyed you.

    I wish you the very best of luck!

    Mel


    I am holding the scores until the results are revealed.


    • LadyDementia gold member
      August 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for such a great comment. I was nervous with a lot of what I wrote but really enjoyed writing this one I've only written one piece since this but there is a difference, its like you say I've relaxed more with it. I am thrilled I took part in this, it has helped me in many ways so thank you for keeping me in, each time was a shock. Hopefully my confidence will continue to grow, there's nothing stopping it now I would certainly do this again, or encourage others to try. It has been a great journey all round


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    August 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I am totally in awe with this sensual artistic and elegant poem.
    Hun by far a brilliant creative piece.
    Softly molded together, brings every thing to life.
    You are a true artist in this form of writing along with your darker side
    Look forward to reading more of your sensual beauty
    Julie


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    August 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW, this is absolutely beautiful, very sensual write. Mommy I'm so proud of you ... you did an excellent, no make that a brilliant job with this poem..

    good luck

    kat


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    August 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    that is a long thing to type in notes, lol, but i think you did a great job on this, i mean that i liked this poem keep it flowing and good luck in the challenge


  • vibes of heart
    August 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i thought i had commented on it earlier but no.. missed it somehow...

    this is one absolutely deserving piece. too good. beautifully n sensually painted. have never tried my hand at sensual and ur poem inspires me to do so...way to go lady!!!!


  • Arkbear gold member
    August 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    OMG!!!!

     

    Can I have your autograph???!!

     

    ..omg Pink....I have never seen a long sable come to life as what you have just brushed upon this canvas....omg!

    Yes....I have read similiar genre as this........however.....this is beyond unique approach....this is birthing new life into an old frame lost for years in attics hideaway ~

     

    I would have brought this down to a new stanza.....>>

     

    Elegant eyes absorb

    relish linear perspective,
    surrendering...
    to tranquil wonders.

     

     ..this is the ONLY part of your write which I found...common....cliche', if you will...>>>>

     

    Pulsating beneath breast

    heart quivers deeply,
    hunger aches...
    endlessly within.

     

     

    Naked shades await.....brilliant!

     

    This.....is MORE brilliant.>>>>>>

     

    Tentative tongues linger
    upon moist lips,
    as first tones emerge.

    Inspirational segments arch,
    enticing artistry
    with alluring beauty.
    Yield to natural glides

    embracing
    familiar scents...

    Sultry forms take shape.

    Caressing seductive skin,
    moist pigments stroke

    lending blush
    to delicate curves.

    Reaching peaks
    of textured
    perfection...


    Glazed in sensual light.

     

     

    omgoodness......I am glad this poem made *Todays Poem Box*.....well deserving!

     

    Well,....there is not anything for me to critique here....only praise :)

     

    You have out-penned yourself.....but why did you wait until the end?

     

    I always mention in these Challenges, by Melanie.....*don't wait until the last Round to pen your best*.........and thank goodness, you made it here to do just that :)

     

    I hope I get to see you on the Judges Panel for the next Seasonal Challenge.....good luck and God bless,

     

    Bear ~


    • LadyDementia gold member
      August 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Wow, thank you for the awesome comment I think it has taken me a while to come out of my shell as they say, but I really did enjoy writing this. Never thought I would like anything sensual so has come as a bit of a surprise to me. I know I hold back when writing, not sure why, but I do find it hard to let go and relax with it. I did manage it with this one tho Pleased you liked it, thanks again


  • PatheticKt
    August 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I don't know anything about sensual pieces but wow, beautiful, beautiful poem you got here
    Well, I'm not artist but I've been appreciating some art every now and then(not those emo kind, haha, the kinds where they're either pretty, surreal or makes you think: ooh, conceptual!)
    Anyway, loved every bit of it . . . my, maybe there will be a tie in the top 1 or a . . . umm, I don't know what to call about the part where three people wins the same place, is it a draw? XD
    Ok, this seems too long, I just woke up and gotta get rid of my "morning" thoughts!
    Good luck to you, all in all


    • LadyDementia gold member
      August 5, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Hehe that makes 2 of us then, what I know of sensual you could write on the back of a postage stamp But I actually enjoyed writing this, just can't believe I forgot to post the link, lame brain I think we are all winners already for getting this far hun, good luck to you to


  • stylization
    August 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, this is beautiful. It's soft, and I like the way you used the italics. Great write!


  • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
    August 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very beautiful, sensual poem. You did a great job with the metaphor. It is very sensual. I liked it alot.


  • JinSays gold member
    August 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well...where is my popcorn and soda? WOOOOOOOZERS Little Miss Lady D
    Turnin up the heat here, and baby, BURN it down for me too
    I read this without being embarrassed or blushing at all, it was this THIS BEAUTIFUL.....DAMNIT GIRL!
    This was some hot hot hot stuff here, you have burned it all down
    God Bless you
    this has been an awful Monday.

    Truly classic in every sense of the word, form a classy lady.
    Amen,
    jin


  • pulsating
    August 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i like the idea of the body being a canvas and also art and i tried my hand at painting , just do not have the knack for it, i suppose anyone can paint and it can be considered art


  • voodoo ink Greeters member
    August 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This one is very well written, with the words you used in describing it all...It read a bit choppy to me, but of course, I am on pain-killers for tooth pain, so I will return to read it, when I am outta this mellow funk...This poem did, indeed, paint the image above with outstanding wording...


  • aboomer silver member
    August 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Outstanding! I love to paint, and your sensual descriptions are just perfect! Loved your wording, images and the sensations this evokes.
    Great job!!!
    best wishes in your contest - but this is Gold anyways, with or without a trophy


  • quantumsurveyor
    August 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A delightful poem that can stand alone - the ANs are really not needed.


  • Todays Poem Box
    August 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Absolutly stunning. You have been nominated for Todays Poem In the group Today's Poem


  • Lost Vampyre Angel
    August 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is lovely, i loved reading this
    its so nice but eek i was scared. nooo pink nooo going to the light *pulls her back and passes her a pen and paper* pen me something evil!! hehe


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    August 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is just so gorgeous!!! It brings a tear to my eye! The sensuality you have woven into the hand of an artist is truely unique and stunning! I believe any form of artistry is a passionate experience and you have shown this here wonderfully.

    I know this is a genre you feel you struggle with, but no one would ever know it as this is pure beauty and penned like a sensual master! The uniqueness of it just adds to its artistry. I am so proud of you for tackling this the way you did!!

    There isn't one part of this I can pull out as a favourite bit, as the whole thing flows in such a way that it is a seamless bit of subtle sensuality. The whole thing is pure brilliance in my eyes!

    I love your ANs.. this has been a journey for you and I've enjoyed watching you go through it! You deserve a big round of applause!! I don't think I could have done it!! It was my honour to 'sit over you' until you finished lol... no thanks was necessary but you know I would do it a million times over hunny! Anything for my bestie!

    Again... I am blown away by this piece and love it so much!! Some say I am a sensual master here.. but you have taken it to a whole new level of artistry that I think I can learn from!! It is definitely going to be bookmarked by me!!

    Good luck in the challenge hunny.. whatever happens, you are a winner here!!

    Much love





  • tawk gold member
    August 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow what an amazing and beautiful poem!!! I too am artistic and love to draw you have captured the feelings of an artist wonderfully. Keep up the amazing writing and congrats o making it to the finals. Theresa


  • kareneisenlord gold member
    August 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Whew - reading that was like making love. I am an artist myself and it is a very intense, spiritual, often sensual and sometimes almost erotic experience to paint. You described it wondrously. I just loved your rich use of description with you uncanny ability to put such a personal experience as creating art through painting into words. This was amazing! Thank you for sharing.

    As always, I am impressed with your work!

1 - 31 of 31