Believe me when I say to you
I think i'm falling in love
My moietly darling
I've fallen from above
Withdrawn from our world
I seperate our love from my life
I have turned my back now
Here to sacrifice
Far beyond our skies
Heartbroken beyond low
As I fade into this valley
Asphytic stare, if I care to go
Beneath these mountains
In this valley full of good
Lies a river full of evil
Rolling through the redwood
Down this broken path
Caught, there's no turning back
This river contains my tears
As my unfeigned heart fades to black
Anchor my soul to this river
A heartless cold machine
Laying dormant, dead and still
Imbued and unseen
Shattered, our love cast to this river
A bauble of sorrow flowing
As I fade into this valley
Your love for me, yet showing
All alone in this world
With nowhere to be
All alone in this world
Waiting for you to rescue me
No longer will I be blackened
No longer will I break
In this valley full of ennoye
Empty handed, my soul to take
Here is where
Where my heart has gone
I need your tender touch
My beautiful dawn
Laying bedewed in my boudoir
In this antechamber of euphony
Azrael, my Aeolus, my Antares
Please come and set me free
This aperature in my heart
Evanescent in the wind
I'm your houri forever
But I fear that I have sinned
Lips so cold
Don't know what else to say
Impunity now fordoomed
I never wanted to end this way
In this aidenn of tarn
Accoutred for death
I reach out for you
As I take my final breath
Author notes
Picture Prompt:
http://s290.photobucket.com/albums/ll272/Temptress41/Dark/?action=view¤t=Dark_Art_by_HellScream1993.jpg
This write is about two angels that love each other. The angel in the picture is contemplating whether her angel actualy loves her or not. She leaves Heaven in search for the truth in their love. By leaving Heaven, she slowly dies, her love for him is killing her. She anchors herself to an evil river which consumes her soul, while she awaits for her love to reign down from above and rescue her. Until then, his love for her will remain unknown.
I am also providing some insite on the words I've selected for this piece, and what they mean to those who are not familiar with some of them.
Accoutred - Dressed
Aeolus - God of wind
Aidenn - Paradise
Antares - Brightest star
Antechamber - Hallway
Aperature - A hole
Asphytic - Breathless
Azrael - Angel of death
Bauble - Small ornament
Bedewed - Wet
Boudoir - Woman's dressing room
Ennoye - Emotionaly exhausted
Euphony - Pleasing sound
Evanescent - Vanishing into vapor
Fordoomed - Doomed
Houri - Beautiful woman
Imbued - Infused
Impunity - Freedom
Moietly - The other half of something
Tarn - A body of water by a mountain side
Unfeigned - Honest
A contest entry
- Dark Picture Prompt Contest!! Big Points!!! by Sweet Impatience.
1350 points, ended August 14, 2008, 38 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
Excellent job here David!
This is one compelling piece of poetry. It's quite stirring to read this. Congratulations on the Honorable winner trophy!!
-
-
Thanks again Pat
-
-
wow wow wow!
This is breath taking (trust me, it took my breath for a moment there, now i'm breathing fine tho) this is stunning, the imagery and your metaphors! it flowed so well, and the emotions your lovely words instilled in me are too much for wrds!
AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!
I LOVE IT!!! keep writing buddy!
-
-
Thanks doll .. very glad you enjoyed this .... I don't want to take your breath away for too long thou hehe Thanks again.
-
-
WOW! this poem blew me away. thank you for the definitions of the words. I was very thankful for that. this poem of yours is beyond words for me. there isn't anyway that I can explain to you how this touched me.. It has affected in many ways on many levels.
Outstanding and beyond that. you've outdone yourself with this poem.
good luck
kat
-
-
Well .. It took me a week to write ... that was one reason why I never got that other Reserve write done.
I am very glad that you liked this, and appreciate your comment so much, brought one huge smile upon my face! Thanks again
-
-
Wow.......I hope you win gold for this. It's very well written! A lot of different aspects...I had to read it...think...then re-read it again; mainly cuz it's long!
But I love you how you just grabbed the readers attention in the beginning and RAN with it! Wonderful job here.
Warmest,
Mylee
-
-
Thanks so much. I do advise every reader to read poems more than once to better the understanding of the write. This poem for an example, like you said it's length. There is some evil in this write, mainly because I wanted the angel which was contemplating love .. to go somewhere where she would have to be rescued, to challenge her lover's love. I hope my point was reached Thanks again! I greatly appreciate it
-
-
thanks for the word deffinition thing lol... I got really clueless and then had to go back and read it again. Well hopefully the angel has her love come for her before she dies. An angel's death is a horrible one, because that's one less being that knows what real love is. At least I am assuming she found out that the other angel really loves her.. keep penning
♥always Kate
-
-
Yeah, It's prob best to read it twice over Yeah she might have been saved, if her love came down to rescue her ... but I left it open in the end ... there was no turn out really, but she did take her last breath .. so, maybe he never came. It's up to you to decide, and believe what you want Thanks for reading this! I'll penn penn penn until my fingers bleed!
-
-
http://s290.photobucket.com/albums/ll272/Temptress41/Dark/?action=view¤t=Dark_Art_by_HellScream1993.jpg
here is the link for your prompt. if you don't like it let me know. you have one more chance
kat
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
