Do I Really Know My Self

I wake up on a bright summer day (its raining)
Its 14th March 2002 looking forward to it all (its really august 2008)
I'm in school and hating it (I'm a full time employee)
I get bullied all the time bruises all over (Ive not been attacked in 5 years)
I'm in foster-care and glad (I really own my own home)
I'm craving a boyfriend (I actually married)
My dream is to be a wife and mother (Which is what I am)

I dont reconise this bed Im in.
Who is the man next to me.
I slowly try to fine the bathroom.
I open the door and I see two gorgeous babies.
I'm scared and cant breathe.
That scary man is trying to cuddle me.

'Nicole, your safe'
'I'm your husband'
Petrified I run to see my reflection in something.
My,My I've grown.
I watch a video of the last 6 years so much I've missed.

My heart sinks. I lost two children.
I'm married with another two.
'How did this happen?' I ask.
His softly spoken anwser sooths me
'There was complications when you miscarried. But were ok'

I find comfort in his voice like Ive known him for years.
So afraid to let him in, I do it anyway.
Those two gorgeous babies my jamie and louise.
As love fills my heart, Memories come flooding back.