I dreamed of light flowing from your eyes
Like sand from the hourglass of time
You closed your eyes and a deep peace
Invaded the unity of my being
in the Universe of Solitude
From the depths of forgotten eternity
Platonic love aroused, forbidden to humans.
Listening in the void of my tortured world
A tender hermit, a dissimulated man.
I saw you in shadows of trembling smiles,
An idol from planted skies, God between icy stars!
It is cold around you.
Shallow, You abhor the light
Yet fire burns around you,still cold
And you smile.
Does it warm you?
Do not lay your eyes on me!
I`m off limits today!
I'll watch you, my demon, I'll admire you.
Singular, in an igloo of false beliefs
You knit illusions and magnificent plans
You dress in thoughts and breed failure
Feeding with the hope,
One day you`ll have me
Today, I am full of compassion
Allowing the arrogance
Of being the only one in your Universe of Sadness
I pity my eyes, bearing the burden of suffering.
Why are you so far my demon?
I let go of silent screams, of intelligible whispers
Yes, I miss you.
I want to loose the sandals of time,
Giving grace to my dreams
I want to redeem with them your lost soul
Burning with the desparity of time.
I want you, but I hate you.
I loathe you!
I want you to die!
Answer that you are already dead.
But you live, with every lily petal,
Blossomed in my heart
You managed to interject into my Solitude
Forbidden to others
Planting there the seed of innocent sin
In me, an angel, white as an autumn lily,
Whiter than any rose on earth
Tomorrow has already come
I leave you, confused
At my desire to not love you
Breaking the lock from gates of insanity
Locking you in a coffin with lilies
So you can only bread my suffering
A contest entry
- Dark Picture Prompt Contest!! Big Points!!! by Sweet Impatience.
1350 points, ended August 14, 2008, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ego Trip by Theasp.
525 points, ended October 26, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~*~Love Without End~*~ by Trisha W.
700 points, ended November 3, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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lovely write...
thanks for sharing and good luck! -
Verbiage, you can cut a lot
Much of this is worded for effect, use words you are comfortable with, and familiarity does not always breed contempt, the poem is about Madness, it is the word ordering and a repetitive symbolism that appears only there and in the last lines, should insanity make sense? But here goes take what you will and discard the rest. Poetry requires a beat, verbiage kills the beat.
I dreamed of light flowing from your eyes
Like sand from the hourglass of time
You closed your eyes and a deep peace
Invaded the unity of my being
in the Universe of Solitude
From the depths of forgotten eternity
Platonic love aroused, forbidden to humans.
Listening in the void of my tortured world
A tender hermit, a dissimulated man.
I saw you in shadows of trembling smiles,
An idol from planted skies, God between icy stars!
It is cold around you.
Shallow, You abhor the light
Yet fire burns around you,still cold
And you smile.
Does it warm you?
Do not lay your eyes on me!
I`m off limits today!
I'll watch you, my demon, I'll admire you.
Singular, in an igloo of false beliefs
You knit illusions and magnificent plans
You dress in thoughts and breed failure
Feeding with the hope,
One day you`ll have me
Today, I am full of compassion
Allowing the arrogance
Of being the only one in your Universe of Sadness
I pity my eyes, bearing the burden of suffering.
Why are you so far my demon?
I let go of silent screams, of intelligible whispers
Yes, I miss you.
I want to loose the sandals of time,
Giving grace to my dreams
I want to redeem with them your lost soul
Burning with the desparity of time.
I want you, but I hate you.
I loathe you!
I want you to die!
Answer that you are already dead.
But you live, with every lily petal,
Blossomed in my heart
You managed to interject into my Solitude
Forbidden to others
Planting there the seed of innocent sin
In me, an angel, white as an autumn lily,
Whiter than any rose on earth
Tomorrow has already come
I leave you, confused
At my desire to not love you
Breaking the lock from gates of insanity
Locking you in a coffin with lilies
So you can only multiply my suffering
This was a valiant effort by someone developing English skills or someone writing above their level of
English vocabulary. It is the only way we learn, using words daily until they become a part of who we are, but for now to thine own self be true.
Author notes
i hate 39 and 41. They are awful but without them the last part of the poem makes no sense
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wow thank you. I`m not a native english speaker and this poem was originaly written in romanian. In some parts I used a dictionary and the result was not as great as I expected.The title was not madness either, it was Lucifer because this was my personal version of a poem by a romanian writer called Mihai Eminescu.
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the imagery throughout this poem is quite vivid.. the emotions are strong they just seem to jump off the page.
great job on the poem
good luck in the contest
kat
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http://media.photobucket.com/image/dark%20madness/ooioiiioi/Dark_Energy_2.jpg?o=16
I hope this works.. let me know alright -
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i have an idea. hope it will work
thx for the pic
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http://s290.photobucket.com/albums/ll272/Temptress41/Dark/?action=view¤t=Madness_by_rejectedangel18.jpg
here is the link for your prompt. if you don't like it you have one more chance. just let me know.
kat -
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the picture is beautiful but it seams like my brain can`t get nothing out of it so can you give me a new one.
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you want in the same category? madness or do you want to try something different..
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same. just not that much fantasy
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