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Madness

I dreamed of light flowing from your eyes
Like sand from the hourglass of time
You closed your eyes and a deep peace
Invaded the unity of my being
in the Universe of Solitude
From the depths of forgotten eternity
Platonic love aroused, forbidden to humans.
Listening in the void of my tortured world
A tender hermit, a dissimulated man.
I saw you in shadows of trembling smiles,
An idol from planted skies, God between icy stars!
It is cold around you.
Shallow, You abhor the light
Yet fire burns around you,still cold
And you smile.
Does it warm you?
Do not lay your eyes on me!
I`m off limits today!
I'll watch you, my demon, I'll admire you.
Singular, in an igloo of false beliefs
You knit illusions and magnificent plans
You dress in thoughts and breed failure
Feeding with the hope,
One day you`ll have me
Today, I am full of compassion
Allowing the arrogance
Of being the only one in your Universe of Sadness
I pity my eyes, bearing the burden of suffering.
Why are you so far my demon?
I let go of silent screams, of intelligible whispers
Yes, I miss you.
I want to loose the sandals of time,
Giving grace to my dreams
I want to redeem with them your lost soul
Burning with the desparity of time.
I want you, but I hate you.
I loathe you!
I want you to die!
Answer that you are already dead.
But you live, with every lily petal,
Blossomed in my heart
You managed to interject into my Solitude
Forbidden to others
Planting there the seed of innocent sin
In me, an angel, white as an autumn lily,
Whiter than any rose on earth
Tomorrow has already come
I leave you, confused
At my desire to not love you
Breaking the lock from gates of insanity
Locking you in a coffin with lilies
So you can only bread my suffering

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Trisha W
    November 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    lovely write...

    thanks for sharing and good luck!
  • The True Asp
    October 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Verbiage, you can cut a lot

    Much of this is worded for effect, use words you are comfortable with, and familiarity does not always breed contempt, the poem is about Madness, it is the word ordering and a repetitive symbolism that appears only there and in the last lines, should insanity make sense? But here goes take what you will and discard the rest. Poetry requires a beat, verbiage kills the beat.

    I dreamed of light flowing from your eyes
    Like sand from the hourglass of time
    You closed your eyes and a deep peace
    Invaded the unity of my being
    in the Universe of Solitude
    From the depths of forgotten eternity
    Platonic love aroused, forbidden to humans.
    Listening in the void of my tortured world
    A tender hermit, a dissimulated man.
    I saw you in shadows of trembling smiles,
    An idol from planted skies, God between icy stars!
    It is cold around you.
    Shallow, You abhor the light
    Yet fire burns around you,still cold
    And you smile.
    Does it warm you?
    Do not lay your eyes on me!
    I`m off limits today!
    I'll watch you, my demon, I'll admire you.
    Singular, in an igloo of false beliefs
    You knit illusions and magnificent plans
    You dress in thoughts and breed failure
    Feeding with the hope,
    One day you`ll have me
    Today, I am full of compassion
    Allowing the arrogance
    Of being the only one in your Universe of Sadness
    I pity my eyes, bearing the burden of suffering.
    Why are you so far my demon?
    I let go of silent screams, of intelligible whispers
    Yes, I miss you.
    I want to loose the sandals of time,
    Giving grace to my dreams
    I want to redeem with them your lost soul
    Burning with the desparity of time.
    I want you, but I hate you.
    I loathe you!
    I want you to die!
    Answer that you are already dead.
    But you live, with every lily petal,
    Blossomed in my heart
    You managed to interject into my Solitude
    Forbidden to others
    Planting there the seed of innocent sin
    In me, an angel, white as an autumn lily,
    Whiter than any rose on earth
    Tomorrow has already come
    I leave you, confused
    At my desire to not love you
    Breaking the lock from gates of insanity
    Locking you in a coffin with lilies
    So you can only multiply my suffering

    This was a valiant effort by someone developing English skills or someone writing above their level of
    English vocabulary. It is the only way we learn, using words daily until they become a part of who we are, but for now to thine own self be true.
    Author notes

    i hate 39 and 41. They are awful but without them the last part of the poem makes no sense


    • Andrada
      October 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      wow thank you. I`m not a native english speaker and this poem was originaly written in romanian. In some parts I used a dictionary and the result was not as great as I expected.The title was not madness either, it was Lucifer because this was my personal version of a poem by a romanian writer called Mihai Eminescu.
  • K a t gold member
    August 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    the imagery throughout this poem is quite vivid.. the emotions are strong they just seem to jump off the page.
    great job on the poem

    good luck in the contest

    kat

  • K a t gold member
    August 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    http://media.photobucket.com/image/dark%20madness/ooioiiioi/Dark_Energy_2.jpg?o=16

    I hope this works.. let me know alright

    • Andrada
      August 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      i have an idea. hope it will work
      thx for the pic
  • K a t gold member
    August 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    http://s290.photobucket.com/albums/ll272/Temptress41/Dark/?action=view¤t=Madness_by_rejectedangel18.jpg

    here is the link for your prompt. if you don't like it you have one more chance. just let me know.

    kat

    • Andrada
      August 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      the picture is beautiful but it seams like my brain can`t get nothing out of it so can you give me a new one.
      • K a t gold member
        August 3, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        you want in the same category? madness or do you want to try something different..
1 - 11 of 11