Ye shalt plague me no more,
yon demons of inner born.
Begone, I doth weary of thy voices'
pestilence upon my soul.
Thou hast blinded mine eyes,
with thy darkest thoughts.
Thou hast seduced me
with thine illusions of deceit.
Thou hast smothered my very essence,
in a blanket of thy madness.
But nay, thou shalt plague me no more.
Verily, I doth summon my darkness.
I shalt make'th it my own
and nevermore be a slave to thy charms.
Fore I doth decree,
that I am Lord of my demons,
Master of my soul,
Keeper of my mind…
But alas, I doth crumble,
Fore sooth, I see this new found strength
for what it is… Another illusion…
And so my walls cascade in twilight shadow.
Damn it, I am undone...
Author notes
Prompt: You know you're not alone in there, right?
Hope this is okay...
In a list
A contest entry
- schizophrenia by formless.
750 points, ended August 16, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Complexity Exchanges by 2lullabyhaven.
700 points, ended September 6, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lives of the Poets - 1 by Judith Chandler.
300 points, ended October 13, 2008, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Oh wow
dear brother this is amazing.
Love the pic and your write is amazing.
The imagery is fabulous.
keep the ink flowing
fire
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That image at the top speaks another volume of poetry on it's own, and combined with your honest and powerful writing, the effect is amazing.
You have mastered the Olde English style so well. I like how you used it here, as it is reminicent of a Shakespearian tragedy, which suits the tone and subject of this poem rather damm well.
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What a struggle, back and forth, between you and your illness.
"I am Lord of my demons". That's the line I particularly like because that is the way I like to feel. You go on to say that that feeling doesn't stay with you but comes and goes.
Fight the good fight and thanks for talking about it in this submission. -
The olde English is pretty good throughout except, somewhat ironically, the opening paragraph. Ye is a nominative plural, so...
Ye [plural] shalt plague me no more,
yon demons [plural] of inner born.
Begone, I doth weary of thy [singular] voice's
pestilence upon my soul.
So if Ye and demons are the correct words, then:
Ye shalt plague me no more,
yon demons of inner born.
Begone, I doth weary of YOUR voice's
pestilence upon my soul.
Niggling, I suppose, but it caught my eye.
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Thanks, I hadn't noticed...
I'll have a think on it. Another option maybe to turn voice's into voices...
Thanks again,
Have a great weekend,
Take care,
Fritz..............
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Great dark write
Olde style words really take this to another amazing level.
Mind played and controlled then the twist...
Damn it, I am undone.. love the ending
Best wishes to you in the contest
Julie
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and round and round in circles we go!
Scary! The last part of it was quite a twist;
I thought, ("yes you are the master!") Then you said this;
"Master of my soul,
Keeper of my mind…
But alas, I doth crumble,
Fore sooth, I see this new found strength
for what it is… Another illusion…
And so my walls cascade in twilight shadow."
When is it an illusion; and when is it not?!
Reminds me of a dream I had when I was 8 years old.
Actually it was a recurring dream that started much younger; of a friend that I would meet in this prehistoric/tropical place and we would just play. Every once in a while, a dinosaur would walk by and we had to hide. That was it basically. We were happy in our Paradise.
One time I remember saying to my friend; "My MASTER needs to wake up and do something, but I will be right back." I proceeded to wake up, go to the restroom, go back to bed and reunite with my friend in my (dream?).
The part that I referred to my waking self as "master" is interesting to me. I guess in "sanity" the conscious self is the one who is supposed to be in control. I guess I knew the pecking order there. lol's
I imagine that I would be considered "insane" to have stayed in my dream (Paradise) all the time.
karen
p.s. the picture is quite disturbing. That is probably the affect that you want. It was so triggering for me, I couldn't begin reading your poem with it in my view.
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Hey Karen,
I'm so sorry you found pic disturbing. It was not my intention, I just liked it 'cause it spoke of how blinded & silenced we can be to delusions & voices. I found it on website about schizophenia, it just really spoke to me (can't explain it)...
Again, so sorry,
Take care,
Fritz........... -
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No apology necessary. It was just one of those things where I found it difficult to focus on beginning to read the poem, with the image staring at me. It went really well with the poem. I didn't mean to sound like it was that bad. It's something about the mouth being sewn shut that is a little upsetting. It gets a point across; that is for sure. And by no means was I implying that you shouldn't use it. It was very appropriate for what you were writing about. karen
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This is great! I adore the old english (pastel does it well to) The wording is strong leading to excellent imagery, a very impressive piece. Good luck in your contest
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You hath doneth well...(smile, that's about the best old English I could muster) hahahaha thanks for sharing in my contest and good luck to you lol
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out damn spot
as i hath lain mine eyes upon the fair breath of thine words, so hath i lain my logic upon the butcher's block.
this is not complicated. it's archaic.
it's a bit out of place in this contest, but can definitely see it doing very well in other arenas.
would have liked it more if i were to read it in a forum better suited for the work. -
WOW - fantastic wording, impact, images and emotion in this! Love the 'old world' feel to it also. Dark, morbid, gruesome even - but excellently done!
best wishes in your contest.
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Verily, I doth summon my darkness.
I shall make'th my own
and nevermore be a slave to thy charms.
Very interesting. You are battling with demons inside yourself. keep up the great work. I love the old english
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You have defined the inner battles
of mind and soul
with vision and clarity.
This is exquisite!!
I adore the Old English
And you write it so well!
Love this!Good luck!!
~Pastel
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Thank you, I'm glad you like it...
Although in truth, the ability to write in Old English was your gift to me. You remain my inspiration as always...
Take care,
Fritz.....
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Wow, this has alot of depth. I love it. It's fabulous. Great job.
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inner demons or inner beings... all have a say in your life, atleast they have in my own. Awesome write, Fritz! Good luck with the contest!
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