i poke inside myself
to find the sick feeling in my stomach
with my fingernails scratching the slant
of my temporary sanity.
i find empty air
shaking through my dry attempt at a smile
into the long stare of your eyes
but i’m not lost.
the phone rings.
it screams and hollers in my ears,
in my head, in everything
and god. i’m so tired.
within the metallic tangs
and dull clicks in my stomach; i hear
your voice singing, singing.
and it’s all i got.
Author notes
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A contest entry
- yet not lost... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended August 4, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I have some ideas on to what this poems about. But the best poems are ones that can be interpreted in many ways, ones that make you think.
I especially liked the part:
i find empty air
shaking through my dry attempt at a smile
into the long stare of your eyes
but i’m not lost.
This is a good one
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Wow....
I really have no idea what to say about this...
This is utter perfection Char!
It's just wow...
I absolutely love this, I actually have that feeling, like butterflies, in my stomach right now, and I have no idea why....
This is wonderful though, well done
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ooo
what a lovely poem with deep feelings and abstractness.
The first stanza set the poem in an uncomfortable position which was awesome!!
nce you explained the meaning, the last few linew became more profound and it gave an amazing effect. congrats on the HM dear! love you!!
transit!
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Outstanding
I thought that you expressed your emotions very well in this poem I got a real feeling of a bad day when everything conspires to get on top of you. Best of luck in the contest.
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Humm..what a scenario you have painted my friend..very curious towards the life...well done..I love it...
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(i dont know what to say)
okay actually i do! dude, this is a confusing poem you know... this can be interpreted in many ways... it can be taken as a sad poem, something like "i'm a good friend, but all you do is sing in the phone" or it can be taken as a love poem... like there's nothing harsh spoken through the phone whenever you talk to this person, its always the lovely angelic voice and singing! so see, it can be interpreted in two completely and utterly different ways!
Thanks for confusing me buddeh, now i'm gonna go to bed wondering which one it was, and wondering if it was about me (i know i sing most of the time, not always, but sometimes on the phone like when there's awkward silence between us, but i still love you!!! i guess thats just coz i cant live in silence, lol) but anyhoo, this is really well written... the awesome words you used to twist and turn the emotions, it was wonderful! Keep penning gal! love ya tonnes!
~RANJI
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I take it as a love poem. But I don't know if that's true... If it is though, it's very sweet! But either way, it's very interesting and well written. There's not one part I don't like.
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