Marred morning memories
spoil routine sunrise.
I called?
Desire rang, but clicked at response's sound.
Slobber frothed face
wobbles up the stairs,
collapsing on a stupor saving mattress
to collect mania.
Switched a password
so as not to forget,
but the next sheet toss erased the change.
Night's sight recalls mutual hesitation,
talk of top 5's and baking,
and our fused nexus lines up a future fight.
I'm sold and signed to this deal,
a damned meal I can't christen.
Gave myself another chance to wallow,
to swallow and pretend to tell her later.
But one jittery hello
straps me to flickering eyes
inventing a flawless facade.
Relive the fictional eye-sore
to revise a two-fold reality.
Recoil at a stance but drawn by that glance
I know will throw what I've built to the teeth.
Side-work mop up time.
Maybe tonight's visions will light the way to a cool resolution,
but I suspect my tricksters will be toying again.
Author notes
i don't know how to tell the difference
A contest entry
- REM cycling by grassisgreener.
600 points, ended August 21, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Please use articles! I really applaud the constant verbiage and alliteration and other devices, but a lack of articles takes away so much from the flow of logic. I like the "slobber frothed face/wobbles up the stairs"--> that's a great combination of imagery spattering with grammatical correctness, adding a little metonymy into the mix. To be honest, this poem is hard to follow. The plot seems to be even more at random than I can imagine a dream to be, like you're almost just jabbering. I think this poem has a very unique style, one that's tough to master, but I think it's just not what I'm looking for. In any case, thank you for entering.
-
-
well yeah this didn't have too much direction and i'm not sure what to do with it at all
-

