This flower.
So delicate, so precious, so pure.
Touching its petals leaves me sure.
My dreams.
So vivid, colorful, and real.
Looking in your eyes and I heal.
These emotions.
So raw, so strong, and right.
I would love to hold you tonight.
Your voice.
So angelic, lovely, and sweet.
The fire between us is pure heat
Your face.
So joyful, loving, and tender.
I will be your selfless defender.
Your heart.
So gentle, caring, and full.
My heart is under your rule.
Our love.
So precious, intense, and pure.
This is love, that much is for sure.
A contest entry
- What if I was your girl??? by XxLuna-DuskxX.
550 points, ended November 5, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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i liked the rhyming
the last stanza was so sweet!
also loved
Your voice.
So angelic, lovely, and sweet.
The fire between us is pure heat
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Some of the rhymes seemed a bit forced "the fire between us is pure heat," but overall it was good, and i like the imagery. Great poem!
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this is reaaly beautiful! i love it alot good job!
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Sweetly used imagery throughout that really fits in with the romantic tone you clearly establish from the outset. I liked the honesty of emotions here, it's a fine tribute to love and a loved one. I agree with the earlier comment about the last line, it does seem out of synch a tad because of its length. You may want to think about the syntax. It is indeed a touching write, it's also good to celebrate our love for that one, and it's evident that your one means more than the world to you. Thanks for sharing.
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This is really touching
I'm not sure about the last line, in myopinion it didn't fit but it could just be me
I really enjoyed reading this
Well done, Keep Writing
x -
great write lovely
I love this it sounds like something i wold write very wonderful
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