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Destiny's Song

Missing image

God speed the golden-bosomed barques

that set their errant keels upon

the waves, and each wight who embarks,

to sail from Avalon.

 

Be calm, you seas, and sweetly pass

the bows of my love’s galleon,

while, by my silvered looking glass

I wait, in Avalon.

 

Mine eyes of grey, horizoning

till pennants’ argent gleam is gone

below the bourne, my voice shall sing

the lay of Avalon;

 

For each esquire in or and gules,

each knight in mail habergeon,

the heroes and the holy fools,

I sing in Avalon.

 

I bless their saintly voyaging

to dark, war-wounded Albion,

to bring the great, friend-stricken king

in peace to Avalon.

 

This bowl, that held First-Easter’s wine

once sipped by God’s own holy Son,

I take, and to these lips of mine

I touch, in Avalon.

 

This bowl, that caught the Saviour’s blood,

that questing heroes dream upon,

I place on it each crimson bud

and kiss in Avalon.

 

I dare this pledge – with mouth profane

the grail – till happy carillon

proclaims they come, in peace, again

to blessed Avalon;

 

Then may the clouds and arcane mists

roll in, once they have undergone

their geas; this name alone persists –

a legend – Avalon.

 

 

Author notes

An interpretation of the painting "Destiny" by J W Waterhouse.

In a list

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
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Comments

1 - 53 of 53
  • I can really hear the archainic(sp) melody in this piece. The flow and choice of words are incredible. You totally deserve that trophy!


  • Star Shine gold member
    August 15

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    This is unbelievable rich, and such a warm, poignant loving telling of the mourning. A pleasure to read and re-read, bookmarked for future enjoyment. Congrats on the trophy.


  • maa gold member
    August 10
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    a cup of or for a golden master-poetess ...

  • ea silver member
    August 9
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    A superb piece, Mairi -


  • maa gold member
    August 8
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    I used a particular approach in reading and integrating the message of your poem : first, I pretended to understand each and every word, listening to the music, the flow, the essence of your words ...
    then, I consulted with a dictionary, given the fact that my poor english-skills are far from proficient in order to intellectually understand the totality of terms woven into your poetic canvas ...
    then I reread your poem, now contemplating the almost complete puzzle ... (a few words are still a mystery for me, yet I did capture the overall meaning very well) ...

    I must say that I am not only impressed by your technical skills and the efficiency of tools used in your art, but also by the depth and wisdom of your words ...

    I have rarely read a poem of this quality yet, maybe some of the ancient poets may enchant me in a similar way, but you're certainly one of the contemporary master-poets who deserve to be known ...

    thank you for sharing your gift with me,
    maa


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      August 8

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for reading this, Marion. If you need any clarification whatsoever, you only have to ask.


      • maa gold member
        August 9

        Edit | Reply
        okay, the only passage that my dictionary does not assist me with is the following :

        "For each esquire in or and gules,

        each knight in mail habergeon"

        couldn't find "or and gules" and "habergeon" in neither my french nor my german dictionaries ...


        • Mairi bheag gold member
          August 9
          Edit | Reply
          OK, "or" and "gules" are terms from Old French, which are used in English heraldry; "or" means yellow/gold, and "gules" means red.

          A habergeon means a hauberk, or upper-body-armour.

  • paulcreates silver member
    August 7
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    This is beautiful Mairi even though there's quite a few references I don't understand.
    Alba gubra (I think...sp?)
    Paul


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      August 7
      Edit | Reply
      Tapadh leat, a'Phol!

      If there is anything you want me to spell out for you, just ask. I am very glad you like it.

      (Alba gu brath)

      • paulcreates silver member
        August 8
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        I want to know more about how to use that old language Mairi. Is there a resource you would suggest so that I not botch the Scotch? Is there a name or names to it? According to my cursory search I understand that the old Scot dialects are rich and varied and the verbal boundaries between the clans overlap.
        I've always been fascinated...

        Paul

        • Mairi bheag gold member
          August 8
          Edit | Reply
          The clan map of Scotland is virtually redundant these days, as the people of Gaelic descent are very widely dispersed, inside and outside of Scotland (US Presidents Monroe, Buchanan, and McKinley have Highland surnames, and U.S. Grant's surname is certainly Scottish).

          The best source of learning in Scottish Gaelic would be Sabhail Mor Ostaig, the college on the Isle of Skye, which is part of the University of the Highlands & Islands. Sabhail Mor (pronounced "saval more" - it means "the big barn") probably has a web site these days. It's a language of which I only have a few words myself, but love to hear spoken, and for the resurgence of which in the NW of Scotland I am grateful.

          There is a handy wee book called "Gaelic is Fun" or some such, which I am sure you can get on the web.

          Our other native language - Scots - is (arguably) a variety of English, and yes it has an abundance of dialects. Eh ken mair o' the guid Scots leid masel', for it's spoken hereaboots in the Lalands; ma ain accent is a wee bittie Dundonian, on toppay the English Eh wiz lumbered wi' as a wain! Ma ain fowk are the Marshalls, frae Banchory on Deeside, but Eh'm kin by marriage tae the MacKay's - teuchters frae the Hielands!

          The best entry level to Scots is getting into the cartoon adventures of The Broons, and Oor Wullie. http://www.thatsbraw.co.uk/

          ... and good luck to you!

          • paulcreates silver member
            August 8
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            Wow!

            Mairi Thank you for your extensive reply! I'm going to C/P this into a file for reference. it's funny how if I read slowly/use context I can understand what the Gaelic words mean.

            Paul

            • Mairi bheag gold member
              August 8
              Edit | Reply
              I think you mean the Scots. If I wrote a string of Gaelic, I doubt if you would understand word one!
  • justaddwords
    August 7
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    very nice

  • montez gold member
    August 7

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    My gast would be...

    ...flabbered if you didn't win gold with this.
    A wonderful piece of rhythmic rhyming poetry, but, b****r me, I had to keep diving in the dictionary!
    Well done.
    Robin.


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      August 7
      Edit | Reply
      Gasts need to be flabbered from time to time, and dictionaries need to be dived into.
  • simply beautiful...flows amlmost too wonderfully to read


  • Winklings gold member
    August 6

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    Fine literary and lyrical ballad

    which has the tone of Tennyson's Morte D'Arthur and the style of "La Belle Dame Sans Merci" by Keats. Romantic in the true sense. The iambic tetrameters followed by the finality of line four's trimeter is enchanting.
    And how tight your rhyme scheme!
    a B a B(r).
    Escapism is enhanced by diction: barques; errant; wight; bosomed; etc. Your title and the dreaded word "geas" towards the end tie in nicely with the preordained and bizarre destiny (death of heroes in a lose-lose choice) involved for them.
    The picture, the title, the poem are a beautiful combination.
    Thank you for the treat! Lyndon.


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      August 7
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, Ron. I had to get "geas" in somewhere. I am told it is NOT the plural of "goo-ass".

      Anyhow, joking aside, thank you for this review. Your good opinion of my poetry means a lot.

  • Melodies silver member
    August 6
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    Avalon! In California we have such a place. Your poem is a joy to read. Beauty abounding!

    • Mairi bheag gold member
      August 7
      Edit | Reply
      there's an old song about it, isn't there? Dooley Wilson plays it at one point in "Casablanca"

      • Melodies silver member
        August 7
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        Yes, the Avalon in California is the harbor at Catalina Island, down by Los Angeles. I went there twice as a teenager. There is a song.

  • philcer
    August 6

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    Superb and Haunting

    I admit there were a few arcane words that were unfamiliar to me but the essence and meter of the poetry was sheer beauty!

  • This does have a nice rhythm. it cast a dreamlike state upon its readers and draws them into it's vague descriptions. it's good, in other words (me and my way of saying things that never seem to make sense)


  • Amazira
    August 6

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    Masterfully done

    by a master poet. I can't conceive of creating a poem that is this authentic in language, tone and visual imagery. I am happy to have stumbled across it. Thank you for another wonderful, thought provoking read.

  • davidwright silver member
    August 6

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    Another great piece of work, from you, I've read. Being an old country boy I had some trouble wrapping my tongue around a fe of the words. I read it 'til I understood the flow. Happy trails

  • sandybeaches gold member
    August 6

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    Wow! Amazing! This is a wonderful poem! I'm gushing but this deserves some gushing...love it! Pam


  • She-ra
    August 6

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    Impressive work you've achieved here. A dear friend of mine told me I should take time to read this piece. He said it would be easy to find once it the 'spotlight' shined its beams over this masterpiece. So, here I be and I am proud to admit that this indeed was one of the best poems I've read in a long time.

    The meter, the rhythm, imagery pristinely penned!! Impressive! You should place well in this contest. Hope to see you around more.

    She-ra

  • WritingWretch gold member
    August 5

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    A remarkable work.

    So much to delight in: your word choice in sync with the poetic theme and Waterhouse painting  gives the impression of a middle English ballad but is accessible to the modern ear. Your description and allusion to elements of the painting is exquisite and along with the story line very satisfying. The work of a master contemplating the work of a master. Art conjoined. Return the favor?

  • Receeding mist brings fear in those
    That see evil in other ways
    But though they hate and slay the name
    Avalon comes again.

    Anwesome write on a subject I adore

    Jemmy bunnies

  • Bad Bill
    August 2

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    A pleasure to read that rarity among poems (at least on this site)--an intelligent fantasy. Very well done.

    Bill

  • This is truly wonderful. The language is flawless. If you would just use the word naked and have damsels with splayed legs and heaving bosoms sprinkled liberally throughout, I am certain your readership would rival Lane's. I am nominating this for front page immediately. Thank you.


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      August 2
      Edit | Reply
      I cut my teeth - if you will pardon the expression - on naked damsels, splayed legs, and heaving bosoms. All the guys who read Lane's poems just ain't heard of me yet.

      Anyhow, Allan-of-the-Harp, thank you for your praise, and nomination. And of course the bunnies, which I see lurking there.

  • Amera gold member
    August 2

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    I love Arthurian legend and I understand Avalon comes from the Celtic word for apples. All these wonderful things pour through my mind as I read your poetry. This poem simply sings when read out loud.

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • cricketjeff gold member
    August 2

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    What a delicious meter, I always adore a "developing refrain", you should however have been concentrating on getting South African wickets by the power of telekinesis!


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      August 2
      Edit | Reply
      You have NO idea the hexes I was trying to put on Smith. I hurled everything at him bar the heavy roller. If he doesn't wake up in the morning with blistered hands, it won't be my fault.

      • Winklings gold member
        August 7
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        The Southern Hemisphere has

        cricket tied up, honourably.

        • Mairi bheag gold member
          August 7
          Edit | Reply
          Don't you believe it! I wouldn't be at all surprised if whole teams in the SH haven't signed their names in blood somewhere!
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