Clock ticking, Mind clicking,
Going back in time.
The replica of the wall
passed through our town,
I saw it; walked its length,
so many names to go down
until I found “the name”,
"the year", "the month", "the day",
old memories revisited
as fresh as yesterday:
It frightened me, I can still feel
the cold chills up my spine,
the night the man I loved
took a nightmare trip in time.
I moved beside him, Suddenly,
he was holding me too tight,
whispering a long forgotten code,
in the stillness of the night.
It wasn’t me he held
in the shelter of his arm,
but a wounded, dying buddy,
he tried to save from harm!
It wasn’t me he cautioned, “Be silent,”
when I tried to break the spell,
but a buddy he grew up with
in that nightmare world of Hell!
The name brought back
the memories, the chill,
They haven’t disappeared.
They never will!
Author notes
Prompt: Feelings on Viet Nam War
My machine said 30 lines, AP says 36, I believe it counts spaces as well. Hope I still qualify.
A contest entry
- Vietnam Big Points by BuriedTreasures.
6000 points, ended August 11, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Another great write the time and era was tough on so many and so many feel forgotten. A chilling tribute to the heros of our country. Thanks for sharing this strong story. Boog
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The line limit is fine--I count thirty lines--I don't count spaces.
Thank you for you entry. -
Such depth here and such a thought provoking piece - where is today's wall? Not yet written but it will be and produce the same sterility as Vietnam - who knows? I just abhor wars but, even more, abhor the souless politicians who send innocents to their deaths for no good reason. Bit of a soapbox - sorry.
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vietnam was hell for many. You write with strong imagery and I too feel chills. nice job!
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that's incredible, the imagery, the rhyme...I love it. I really do. Can't think of any ways you could improve it, love the comparison of that night to Hell...whether it was intentional or not, it's still awesome. Good job, and good luck lovey
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wow this very powerful full of vivid imagery and strong emotions good luck in the contest
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